What Does It Mean When a Girl Stares at You? (11 Reasons & How to Respond)

Written by Joshua Pompey | Edited by Glenn Carreau

Last Updated: July 27, 2023 Fact Checked

Do you keep noticing a girl looking over at you, and you're not sure what it means? No worries. Staring is often a great sign in the dating world and a cue for you to make your move. Keep reading, and we'll explain the different reasons a girl could be staring at you—plus how to recognize each one and respond accordingly!

This article is based on an interview with our relationship expert, Joshua Pompey. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

If she's giving you a friendly look or watching you do something fun, staring might be a sign that she wants to be friends.
If she's gazing deep into your eyes while smiling and/or initiating touch, she may have a crush on you.
If she's glaring at you, she could be mad at you or someone else in her life.

1

She thinks you're interesting.

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Even if it's not flirting, a unique quality of yours could intrigue her. She might notice the way you speak, an activity you're doing well, or your impeccable fashion sense. If she finds you interesting, her eyes will be fixed on whatever part of you draws her attention—meaning she's not necessarily giving you a flirty look or trying to catch your eyes.^{[1]
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Research source} Girls might watch you this way because:
- You're practicing a skill she wants to learn or finds fascinating, like beating a level in a video game or sketching in a notebook.
- You're telling a compelling story and gesturing with your hands for dramatic effect.
- You're talking, and it's difficult to hear, so she's staring at your lips to get a sense of what you say.
- If she compliments you, say “thanks” and have a friendly chat with her (if you want to). If not, you can always just keep doing whatever you were doing.

2

She wants to talk and learn more about you.

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Staring while in conversation is a sign that she finds you captivating. As you talk to this girl, you'll notice her making a lot of eye contact, smiling, and leaning forward towards you simultaneously. She might break eye contact every so often (which is natural) but will quickly and earnestly meet your gaze again. This means she's enjoying your conversation and wants to keep talking to you!^{[2]
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Research source}
- If she's interested in continuing the conversation, she'll also listen actively. That means she's giving you her full attention, letting you finish your thoughts before replying, and asking thoughtful follow-up questions.
- Tell her about yourself and show her the interest is mutual by asking some thoughtful open-ended questions that allow you both to get to know one another better.

3

She's talking to friends about you.

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She might stare while discussing her crush on you with friends. Do you share any friends or acquaintances? She might like you and want to tell her friends about it. If she's staring at you consciously or stealing glances but avoids making actual eye contact (while surrounded by a group of friends), she's likely talking about you.^{[3]
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Research source}
- It’s also possible she could be gossiping if she heard something about you and wanted to discuss it with other friends.
- You can tell whether the discussion is good or bad by looking at their faces. The girl could be talking about a crush if she's smiling and giggling with her friends. If they all look serious, it might be a negative rumor.

4

She's checking you out.

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Smiling and looking at you often is a surefire sign of attraction. When a girl is attracted to you, she'll look at you appreciatively and consciously—hoping you'll notice rather than sneaking glances without really thinking about it. She'll also try to meet your gaze and make eye contact while smiling at you.
- If you see a girl checking you out, she might be sending signals that she'd like to chat. Head over and introduce yourself, but be sure to respect her space if it turns out she was just looking!

5

She has a crush on you.

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Looking at you intently and initiating small touches means she likes you. When she develops romantic feelings for you (beyond just attraction), she might try to convey her crush when she hangs out with you. A girl that likes you will make eye contact while brushing your arm, elbow, or hands softly while you talk.
- She may also act nervous since talking to a crush can feel so intense! If you notice her talking fast and blurting things out in a way that she doesn't do with others, she's probably crushing on you.
- If you like her too, send a few signals that the crush is mutual. You could even come right out and ask her on a date if you’re confident that both of you are interested.

6

She's flirting with you.

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Girls use their gaze to get attention and see if you feel the same. When she's flirty, a girl will catch your eye and hold it; you'll be able to tell she's flirting because her look will be more sultry and seductive than a typical glace. She might also play with her hair, twirling it or brushing it with her fingers.
- If this happens as you talk to her, you'll also notice her smiling and giggling at your words, perhaps even playfully hitting you on the shoulder when you say something flirtatious.
- To flirt back, meet her gaze strongly without letting your eyes dart over the room. This conveys confidence and attraction!

7

She's falling in love with you.

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A girl in love lights up when she sees you and gazes at you adoringly. If the two of you are an established couple and you catch her staring at you, she's likely doing it because it's second nature by now; she gravitates toward you when you're together and focuses on you more than other people she's with.^{[4]
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Research source} Other telltale signs that she's in love with you are:
- She'll mirror your body language, making the same movement right after you do when you're together.
- She smiles more often, and those smiles are usually directed at you.
- She makes frequent eye contact, conveying feelings of warmth, tenderness, and affection.
- If you love her back, then tell her! You can also show your love through physical affection; meet her eyes and smile back, or put an arm around her and hold her close.

8

She's reminded of someone else.

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In this case, you'll notice her subconsciously glancing at you for several seconds, as though she's not sure where she knows you from. She won't be trying to catch your eyes but instead studying your face carefully—and if she sees that you've noticed, she probably won't look again.

9

She's staring at you subconsciously.

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She may be looking in your direction because she's lost in thought. When people get dazed or preoccupied with an internal train of thought, they tend to settle their gaze on whatever is in front of them without seeing anything. A girl who looks at you but doesn't notice you might be busy daydreaming!
- You can always just ignore someone staring in your direction. Alternatively, catch her eye and see how she reacts. If she looks away quickly, it was likely a subconscious stare.

10

She's upset with you.

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Some girls prefer passive-aggressive looks to confrontation when upset. You may notice her glaring at you without a trace of a smile on her face, which implies she's upset or annoyed at you in some way. Other signs that she's upset include giving you the silent treatment or speaking sarcastically (and sometimes with deliberate rudeness) when she does talk to you.
- If you think she's upset, think about why or when she started acting upset to give you a clue if you're unsure. Did you do something unintentionally hurtful, or could there be a misunderstanding between you?
- Approach her and ask for open communication between you both. Tell her you'd like to fix the problem and work on a solution together.

11

She's trying to make someone else jealous.

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Some play mind games to make friends or love interests take notice. Girls who do this will stare at you to get your attention but also glance at the person they're trying to provoke and see if they've noticed. If you think a girl might just be trying to make someone else jealous, listen to your instincts and steer clear of her!
- Keep an eye out for more signs. If she's playing with your feelings to make someone else jealous, she likely won't commit to much and will pull away from emotional intimacy, even if you go on dates together.

Community Q&A

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Question

I have a crush on a girl, and I think she feels the same way about me. She looks at me whenever I walk in but immediately looks away and then looks at me again. Is this a sign?

Community Answer

It could be. One way to find out is to ask her for a date.

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