Remember the “It came true” heard 'round the world? In 2013, Anne Hathaway picked up a best-supporting-actress Oscar for her role as the tortured prostitute Fantine in Les Miserables—delivering an acceptance speech she had surely been preparing her entire life. While it seemed like a storybook night for the famously earnest star, it turns out that in the moment, she was basically living out the lyrics to the iconic Britney Spears track “Lucky,” as the actress revealed in a recent interview.

“I felt very uncomfortable,” Hathaway told the Guardian, speaking about that fateful night. “I kind of lost my mind doing that movie and it hadn’t come back yet.”

While promoting Les Mis, the actress spoke quite often about the intense filming experience—while making the movie, she cut her hair, lost weight, and always seemed on the brink of total exhaustion. On top of all that, she did research on prostitution in order to flesh out her portrayal of Fantine.

Hathaway’s Oscar journey was also marred by an unfavorable reputation—in a short period of time, she went from a friendly famous face to an actress the public loved to hate. The misery cocktail made for an unhappy Hathaway by the time she made it to the Oscars stage, wearing that pink Prada gown and a $10 million necklace.

“I had to stand up in front of people and feel something I don’t feel, which is uncomplicated happiness,” she says. “It’s an obvious thing, you win an Oscar and you’re supposed to be happy. I didn’t feel that way. I felt wrong that I was standing there in a gown that cost more than some people are going to see in their lifetime, and winning an award for portraying pain that still felt very much a part of our collective experience as human beings. I tried to pretend that I was happy and I got called out on it, big time. That’s the truth and that’s what happened. It sucks. But what you learn from it is that you only feel like you can die from embarrassment, you don’t actually die.”

You don't actually die! That's something! It's hardcore as hell, but a silver lining is a silver lining, kid. Though she's currently busy working on a couple of projects, Hathaway has kept her film slate light the last few years. She's also been busy taking care of her newborn son, Jonathan. Or as she puts it: “I’m feeding a child from my body, and that takes up all my time.” Never change, Hathaway.