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Brendan Gleeson
Brendan Gleeson: ‘What does love feel like? True.’ Photograph: Scott Garfitt/Rex/Shutterstock
Brendan Gleeson: ‘What does love feel like? True.’ Photograph: Scott Garfitt/Rex/Shutterstock

Brendan Gleeson: ‘My guiltiest pleasure? Fridge-foraging before bed’

This article is more than 7 years old

The actor on the disappointment of puberty, tickling and why a bidet would change his life

Born in Dublin, Brendan Gleeson, 61, worked as a teacher and was a part-time stage actor until, at 34, he appeared in Mel Gibson’s Braveheart. His subsequent work includes Gangs Of New York, three Harry Potter films, In Bruges, Calvary and Suffragette; his latest film, Assassin’s Creed, is released tomorrow. He lives in Ireland and is married with four sons.

When were you happiest?
It’s ongoing.

What is your greatest fear?
War.

Which living person do you most admire?
My wife.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Self-hatred.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Sleeveenism: a self-serving sliminess.

What was your most embarrassing moment?
Advising the girlfriend of a former friend not to make up with him because he was a shit. They are still together.

What is your screensaver?
My dog, who hogs the attention.

What would your super power be?
Tickling. I could look at you and you’d feel you were being physically tickled, really skilfully, to within an inch of torture.

What makes you unhappy?
The fact that young people have to size up whether the world is a good bet to bring kids into.

If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
Leadership.

Who would play you in the film of your life?
Marion Cotillard.

What is your favourite smell?
Christmas.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Fridge-foraging before bed.

What is your most unappealing habit?
Shoving my entire fist into my mouth and retrieving deviant strings of food in the gaps between my molars.

What did you want to be when you were growing up?
Huckleberry Finn.

What does love feel like?
True.

Which living person do you most despise, and why?
The guy who decided that inbuilt obsolescence is the way to go. I can’t understand how tech companies aren’t required by law to stop making stuff that either doesn’t work with other stuff, or that will soon stop working altogether.

Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?
A chef.

What is the worst job you’ve done?
Fixing a municipal sewer pipe.

What has been your biggest disappointment?
Puberty.

When did you last cry, and why?
Listening to Iris DeMent singing Our Town, because of her voice and the truth of what she is singing about, which is that small towns and communities are dying all over.

How do you relax?
By having sex.

How often do you have sex?
Every time I relax.

What is the closest you’ve come to death?
Getting knocked down by a bus. The experience left me with the exhilaration of life enhanced.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
A bidet.

How would you like to be remembered?
With tenderness.

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