This week’s debate is a tasty tussle between a chewy champion and a gummy grizzly. Grab your lunch boxes and protect your hair, because it’s Bubble Gum vs. Gummy Bears! Actor, improvisor, and creative extraordinaire Alsa Bruno is all in for glorious Gummy Bears and Forever Ago host Joy Dolo is here to hype the hubbub for team Bubble Gum! Which side will stick it out for the win? Gleeful Gummy Bears or beloved Bubble Gum?
Vote below for the team YOU think won!
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As an added bonus, your Smarty Pass will grant you access to a super special debate starring Sanden and Molly!
Audio Transcript
Download transcript (PDF)
From the Brains behind Brains On, it's Smash Boom Best. The show for people with big opinions.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi. I'm Molly Bloom. And this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is a tasty tussle. On one side, we've got the hubbub of hubba bubba versus the bite-size bear to beware. It's the chew champion versus the gummy grizzly. Grab your lunchboxes and protect your hair because it's Gummy Bears versus Bubble Gum.
For team Gummy Bears, we've got actor, improviser, and creative extraordinaire Alsa Bruno.
ALSA BRUNO: Yummy gummy, give me some-y in my tummy.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: And for team Bubble Gum is Forever Ago host Joy Dolo.
JOY DOLO: I'm so excited I'm going to pop. Chew don't stand a chance. I would blow it up, but I don't want to get in bubble.
ALSA BRUNO: OK. All right, that's enough. Nobody wants that much.
MOLLY BLOOM: And here to judge it all is Yaretzi from Los Angeles. Yaretzi Enjoys playing sports, is an aspiring cat lady, and she loves hot sauce so much she can drink it straight from the bottle. Hi, Yaretzi.
YARETZI: Hi.
[CHUCKLES]
MOLLY BLOOM: Yaretzi, you love cats. So I'm wondering, do you have any of your own?
YARETZI: Oh, well, I do have one cat. His name is monkey. He's so cute. We always called him spider monkey because he likes to jump around and just go everywhere. And then we ended up just switching his name to monkey and now that's just his name. So whenever we walk into the vet, they kind of just stare at us. And they're like, OK, so you named your PET after another-- OK, yeah, sure, sure. Yeah yeah, that makes perfect sense, yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: I like it. And we need to find a monkey named cat then we'll be all set.
YARETZI: Exactly. Ooh, I should adopt one.
MOLLY BLOOM: So you love hot sauce. What is your favorite kind?
YARETZI: Tapatío, 100%. You can never go wrong. OK, you have Tabasco. You have Valentina. There's many, right?
MOLLY BLOOM: So many.
YARETZI: Oh, I also really like homemade hot sauce, like homemade salsa too. My mom makes the best. But definitely Tapatío because it's like you can reach it anywhere. They even give it out at schools.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent point. Tapatío already has your Yaretzi's heart, but who will she choose today? Glorious Gummy Bears or beloved Bubble Gum? Only she can tell. OK, Yaretzi, are you ready to judge this thing?
YARETZI: No. Yes, I'm kidding. Yes, I am ready.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Before we get into this debate, it's time to review the rules of the game.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Every debate consists of four rounds of argumentation, the Declaration of Greatness, the Micro Round, the Sneak Attack, and the Final Six. After each round, our judge Yaretzi will award points to the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website smashboom.org and vote for whichever team you think won.
All right. Joy, Alsa, and Yaretzi, are you ready?
JOY DOLO: I am, and I'm sticking to it. You knew it was coming. You knew there was going to be another one.
ALSA BRUNO: Mm-hmm. I am. And I'm very ready.
[LAUGHTER]
YARETZI: I'm very excited. I'm bubbling over with Joy.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yes!
JOY DOLO: Yes, I got two.
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for the Declaration of Greatness. In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin, and Alsa you're up first. Tell us why gummy bears are the treat that can't be beat.
ALSA BRUNO: OK, so I had the strangest dream last night. I was alone in the woods going-- I don't know where when I heard a sound behind me. I whipped around, and there staring me down was the biggest bear I had ever seen!
And then it opened its arms and hugged me. What? It was a gummy bear. He smelled like strawberries, had an adorable little smile, and twirled me around like a joyful, jiggly carousel who just couldn't wait to see me smile. And then I took a bite out of his shoulder, and he was delicious. Gummy bears, they were designed to bring you joy.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Gummy bears were invented by a German man named Hans Riegel Sr. in 1922. He called them tanzbar, which translates to the dancing bear after the real dancing bears once found at circuses and festivals across Europe.
SUBJECT 1: After two long years of experimentation, confectioner Hans Riegel Sr. Was struck with one sweet idea. We've got the man here. Riegel, tell us about this dandy new candy.
SUBJECT 2: Mein gosh, thanks. You know, I was messing about with a colorless hard candy, and I thought, this is no fun, candy should be soft, colorful. It should want to play with you like the dancing bears at the circus. And then, boom, I thought, that's it, I will make soft, little candy bears.
SUBJECT 1: Incredible! And where did you get the name of your company, Haribo?
SUBJECT 2: Me. I'm Hans Riegel from Bonn. HA-RI-BO, Haribo.
SUBJECT 1: Infallible logic. And your beloved wife and only employee Gertrud delivers these fruit flavored flavors across Germany on a bike. Oh, here she comes now. Gertrud.
SUBJECT 3: Busy. OK, thanks. Bye!
ALSA BRUNO: So gummy grandpa Riegel created the Haribo company to make candy with personality, that inspires play, a candy that could be as funny as it is yummy. The company motto is kids and grown-ups love it so, the happy world of Haribo. And it's a reminder to pursue happiness. It's like my little buddy Gummy Bar always says--
GUMMY BAR: Happiness makes the world go round. I would know, I'm a gummy bear.
ALSA BRUNO: Speaking of Earth, Haribo alone makes 160 million gummy bears per day worldwide. That means every year, they make enough gummies to wrap around the Earth four times.
GUMMY BAR: We need lots of gummies to make tummies go yummy. Gummies can be good for you too, in the right doses. They're popular with bodybuilders because they have the perfect balance of sugars to help replenish your muscles after a workout.
GUMMY BAR: Munch, munch, munch. Let us pump you up.
ALSA BRUNO: And now gummy bears are at the forefront of snack science. There are entire laboratories dedicated to creating gummy bears to battle tooth decay and vitamin deficiencies.
GUMMY BAR: We are here to help.
ALSA BRUNO: Thanks, Gummy Bar. Gummy Bears are our friends, someone to play with. They were made for our entire brain to enjoy. Recreate your favorite movie scene with them. Stack them in a tower. Perform gummy surgery and mix their parts together.
SUBJECT 4: It's alive.
ALSA BRUNO: Or keep one in your pocket for advice throughout the day.
GUMMY BAR: I was made with two ears for listening to my best friend, you.
ALSA BRUNO: A candy to feed us, inspire us, and make us kinder to ourselves.
GUMMY BAR: Now that's yummy, Baron.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow, Gummy Bears coming in strong there. All right, Yaretzi, what stood out to you about Alsa's argument.
YARETZI: Honestly, it was really well constructed, I'm not going to lie. I really like that the origin story of like the gummy bears. I think his name was Hans from Germany. He wanted to create candy alternatives because all the old candy back then, many, many, many centuries ago, was like was like hard candy. And this is a soft alternative to it. And I really liked how the whole like pursuit on happiness, having a little gummy bear in your pocket.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah.
YARETZI: I liked all of that.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's hard not to smile, but Joy is going to try to make us stop.
[LAUGHTER]
Joy, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to take a bite out of Alsa's argument. And your time starts now.
JOY DOLO: OK, listen. So I know that we're talking about pursuing happiness, but how can you pursue happiness when bears are literally scary. Like, you started it off with, they are terrifying. They don't smile at you, Alsa. They have vicious teeth that they use to eat small animals. And Hans Haribo? More like Hari-ble.
[LAUGHTER]
Get it? Haribo? Horrible? That's why nobody would work with him. It's just his wife. Only his wife would work with him. And he looked at bears in a circus and was like, oh, we should make them edible. They are in animal captivity.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
JOY DOLO: They're in animal jail!
[LAUGHTER]
ALSA BRUNO: Oh, yeah. Well, the thing is I don't know if you've been to animal jail, it's fun to get out.
[LAUGHTER]
Hans is looking out for all the bear folk, showing this is what liberation looks like, you can be soft, you don't have to eat everyone, look at the smiles you could have, look at all these colors.
JOY DOLO: I absolutely agree. I think this is absolutely right. And I also want to say that I really like the part where you're like, oh, your friend, the gummy bear in the script, and you ate them. Do you do you eat all your friends?
ALSA BRUNO: Um, I--
JOY DOLO: Is that what your brand is, Alsa? Be my friend, I might chew on your ankles.
ALSA BRUNO: My brand is if you need your ankle chewed and my mouth is free--
JOY DOLO: Can I ask what kind of friends you have that need to be gnawed on?
ALSA BRUNO: Friends with itchy ankles.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Joy. All right, tell us why gum has the chew that you got to do.
JOY DOLO: Psst. Hey, you with the eyeballs and the shirt and the mouth with all the teeth that's perfect for chewing, want to know a secret? I love bubble gum. It's chewy, it's pink, and you can blow bubbles.
NELSON: Ha oh! Nice bubble, Joy.
JOY DOLO: Thanks, Nelson. Nelson is my park pal. We became friends after I offered him a piece of bubble gum.
NELSON: Now we're bubble buds.
JOY DOLO: That's one of the best things about bubble gum, the individually wrapped morsels of bubble blowing goodness are so easy to share. And who doesn't like gum? It's such an effortless way to build community. Gummy bears are great, but once you chew them, they're gone in mere seconds. Bubble gum feels like an accomplishment.
NELSON: Oh, yeah. It's really special once you learn how to do it, like learning how to whistle or taking off the training wheels on your bike.
JOY DOLO: Or learning to jump rope, a skill that you can keep forever. It's a milestone, not to mention that satisfying pop.
NELSON: Plus, gum is super useful.
JOY DOLO: Totally, bubble buddy. It can be a great way to keep your concentration. When I'm on long road trips, chewing it helps me stay focused. When I'm taking a test, I stay super focused with my gums flapping. When I'm cooking, cleaning or playing Zelda, Tears of the Kingdom, I can always maintain my brain power with my chompers chomping.
NELSON: It's also great for sticking stuff together. One time, I dropped my keys down a gutter, but I stuck some trusty bubble gum on my shoelace and pulled them out.
JOY DOLO: Whoa, you really MacGyvered that or rather Mc-gum-ered it.
[CHUCKLES]
Do you get it? Do you get what I did there? I switched the guy with the gum.
NELSON: Uh, who or what is a MacGyver?
JOY DOLO: There's no time to explain that mystical mulleted man. Ask your parents or maybe your grandparents. Go on YouTube. It's great anyways. Anyways, bubble gum is older than your grandparents. It's said to have started with this man called Frank Fleer in the early 1900s. He called it--
SUBJECT 5: Blibber-Blubber, the blibbiest blubber this side of the Atlantic.
JOY DOLO: Say that three times fast. The blibbiest blubber-- the blippi-- blibbiest blubber-- blippi-- blibbiest bla bla bli beh. Bli ble bah beh. Even though Blibber-Blubber was the perfect name for bubble gum, it was not the perfect formula. When you popped a bubble of Blibber-Blubber, it was really sticky and difficult to get out of your skin.
SUBJECT 5: Ouch! Now I'm going to have to scrub this off. Quick, fetch me the turpentine!
JOY DOLO: This all changed years later when an accountant at Fleer's company named Walter Diemer started experimenting with the recipe in his free time at work. Diemer accidentally perfected the recipe when he added more latex, making it less sticky and more stretchy, perfect for blowing bubbles. It was also only by coincidence that bubble gum is pink. It was the only food coloring they had on hand.
Diemer's bubble gum became known as Dubble Bubble allegedly because it made bubbles double the size of Fleer's original recipe. Dubble Bubble, bigger the size.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Dubble bubble. Bubble bubble.
And since Diemer's creation, bubble gum has left a sticky impression on us all. There's the color bubble gum, that perfect shade of light pink. There's the unique flavor of bubble gum, vaguely fruity and softly tropical. It flavors ice cream, toothpaste, heck, even McDonald's tried making bubble gum-flavored broccoli.
NELSON: For realsies. You got to look it up.
JOY DOLO: There's also a whole genre of music called bubble gum pop. It's basically sweet, catchy pop music that sticks in your head. Get it? Sticks like bubble gum?
[CHUCKLES]
It got started in the late 1960s and early '70s with tunes like "Sugar Sugar" by The Archies.
[THE ARCHIES, "SUGAR SUGAR"]
I just can't believe it's true. Ah, sugar. Oh, honey, honey.
Bubblegum is in movies and TV, from "Grease" to "Adventure Time," is a staple of baseball. It's an All-American classic. The same is just not true for gummy bears. So if we're looking for the most fun, useful, culturally iconic candy, not to mention the best Blibber-Blubber bubble in town, get some bubble gum.
NELSON: And be our bubble bud.
BOTH: Let's get popping!
MOLLY BLOOM: Joy blowing my mind with her Blibber-Blubber. Yaretzi, what stood out to you about Joy's Declaration of Greatness?
YARETZI: Well, a lot stood out to me, especially just the effortless way of building the community, especially me when I was younger. I can just imagine myself sitting at a table with random people I don't know and pulling out the gum. And if they ask, can I have a piece of bubble gum? It's just a way of building a friendship. When I was younger, I would ask people for a pencil on the first day of school, even though I had a pencil, just to make friends.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw!
YARETZI: But that's something you could do with bubble gum too, especially for young kids that need more friends.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah.
YARETZI: If you have bubble gum, you can just offer them some and create new friendships.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's lovely.
YARETZI: I thought that part really stood out to me.
JOY DOLO: Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah, that's what I did too when I was younger. It's either I would give gum or I would ask for gum. And then you can always ask like, what kind is your favorite? And you can follow up with questions and then maybe make a friend.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's a beautiful way to make friends.
JOY DOLO: So you don't have a gummy bear friend like some people I know.
MOLLY BLOOM: But now, Alsa, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to chew out team Bubble Gum. And your time starts now.
ALSA BRUNO: I appreciate you talking about community building because I feel like bubble gum is a great way to build community of people who have trash.
[LAUGHTER]
You kind of brought it out in the same Declaration of Greatness was the death knell. Bubble gum is so lovely and it tastes like itself. And the reason it tastes like itself is, I heard, latex. It tastes like latex? I don't think latex is edible, but here we go chewing on--
MOLLY BLOOM: And--
ALSA BRUNO: --latex with--
MOLLY BLOOM: --time.
ALSA BRUNO: Useless, pink, extra garbage pink--
JOY DOLO: That's time. That's time. You got to respect the process.
ALSA BRUNO: The staple of baseball? Who likes base-- I'm sorry, go ahead.
JOY DOLO: Like millions of people like baseball.
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. For sure. For sure.
JOY DOLO: Can I say something?
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah, yeah. It's like golf. It's like the golf academy. Go ahead.
JOY DOLO: OK, so here's the thing, when you say trash, I hear fresh.
[ALSA CHUCKLES]
Each little present is wrapped for you individually sometimes. Sometimes they don't even wrap them, they just come together. But sometimes you get it individually wrapped. And you know what happens with gummy bears when it gets hot?
ALSA BRUNO: What happens to them?
JOY DOLO: Have you ever had a hot gummy bear?
ALSA BRUNO: Yes, I have. Yes, I have.
JOY DOLO: You don't just have one, you have a pile.
ALSA BRUNO: Have you ever had gummy bear soup?
JOY DOLO: And then you don't even know what the flavor is anymore. It's like, is it gold, is it orange, is it green?
ALSA BRUNO: You know what it's not?
JOY DOLO: What even flavor is that?
ALSA BRUNO: You know what it's not? Pink. You know what it's not? Pink.
JOY DOLO: That is consistent. People like consistency.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my goodness.
JOY DOLO: You look at all these colors, ROYGBIV. No, we have one color.
ALSA BRUNO: No!
JOY DOLO: We have one statement. We have one sentiment, one brand. We are pink bubble gum baseball-loving--
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah, that's right. That's right That's right. Nice to meet you, new friends at school. We don't have any other colors for you. We have only pink and garbage.
JOY DOLO: Wow.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Yaretzi, it is time to award some points. This is a tough decision. One point for the Declaration of Greatness that you liked best and one point to the most awesome rebuttal. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. One team make you laugh? Did one use legendary logic?
Did one make you think? Did one make you feel? Whatever it is, please award your points, but don't tell us who's getting them. Both points go to the same person or each person could get a point. Have you made your decision?
YARETZI: I feel so powerful right now.
[LAUGHTER]
ALSA BRUNO: You should.
JOY DOLO: Our lives rest in your hands.
MOLLY BLOOM: Have you made your decision?
YARETZI: Sure. Yeah, yeah, I've made my decision.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Joy and Alsa, how are you two feeling so far?
JOY DOLO: I'm feeling hot.
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah, warm, good.
JOY DOLO: Yeah, yeah, I feel warmed up. I feel like this is a worthy opponent, very worthy because we have shared many a candy--
ALSA BRUNO: Mm-hmm.
JOY DOLO: --over the years. Many, many a candy.
ALSA BRUNO: Do you remember that Crunch Bar?
JOY DOLO: Do you remember that Starburst?
ALSA BRUNO: Oh my god.
JOY DOLO: Oh my gosh. Long story short, we're feeling good.
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah.
JOY DOLO: We're feeling good, Molly.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, it's time for a quick snack break.
YARETZI: Because we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
SUBJECT 6: You're listening to "State of Debate," home to raging rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TAYLOR: Hey, yo, and welcome to the show. I'm Taylor "The Tinkering" Lincoln.
TODD: And I'm Todd "The Rug" Douglas.
TAYLOR: Rug?
TODD: Yeah, I'm plush, comforting, and I like lying on the floor. Plus, I love feet.
TAYLOR: You love feet?
TODD: I do. Think how much they do for you every single day, the burden they carry.
TAYLOR: Are you calling my body a burden?
TODD: No, but sometimes your feet need a break. Taylor, stop the tinkering. I'm serious. Put down that broken toaster and take a load off.
TAYLOR: Todd, are you feeling OK?
TODD: Maybe, maybe not, but I just heard a doozy of a fallacy, the enemy of a good argument. And this one is a foot fallacy.
TAYLOR: OK, let's hear it.
TODD: The two voices you're about to hear are my own two feet talking to each other. Hit it.
LEFTY: Ugh. I have a bunion.
SUBJECT 7: What's that, like a toe ring or something? I've always wanted a toe ring with inlaid turquoise.
[GASPS]
LEFTY: No, it's a medical condition.
SUBJECT 7: What? I've never heard of a bunion before. I've heard Todd talk about onions. He likes to eat them raw, apparently.
LEFTY: A bunion is a painful bump, and it's on the side of my big toe.
SUBJECT 7: You are totally silly, Lefty. Bunions, uh, not a thing.
LEFTY: Just because you haven't heard the word bunion doesn't make my pain any less real.
TODD: Lefty, a.k.a. my left foot, is right. My right foot is wrong.
TAYLOR: Yep, your right foot used the personal incredulity fallacy. Just because they don't know what a bunion is doesn't mean bunions don't exist.
TODD: I know. My feet have been fighting a lot recently. I need to take them to couples therapy.
TAYLOR: You do that, Todd. But maybe in the interim, take a nap.
TODD: Yeah, then my tootsies will get some rest as well. Maybe I'll indulge in my rug-like nature and nap on the floor.
TAYLOR: All right! Well, OK. This has been "State of Debate!"
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Best. Boom. Smash. Smash Boom Best!
MOLLY BLOOM: You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
YARETZI: And I'm your judge, Yaretzi.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this awesome debate idea from Lily.
LILY: My name is Lily. And my idea is the Eiffel Tower versus the White House.
YARETZI: Ooh, a destination debate.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back with Lily at the end of this episode to see which side she thinks should win.
YARETZI: And now it's back to today's debate, Bubble Gum versus Gummy Bears!
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right and it's time for round two, the-- Micro Round. For the Micro Round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. Today's Micro Round challenge is called Gummy Groove. Joy and Alsa, for this challenge, we asked you to write a yummy gummy groove about the glories of your side. Alsa went first last time. So, Joy, you're up. Let's hear your bubble gum jam.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
(SINGING) Three easy instructions. Unwrap it. Chew it. Blow it. Do it. Ow! Sticky, sticky, stick. Pinky, pinky, pick. It's fantastic, lasts forever. Tastes good, yummy in my tummy. Been around since cutting lumber. Nod your head like you're in a clubber. Hubba bubba Double Bubble Blibber-Blubber. Clap your hands and stomp your feet cause bubble gum, it can't be beat.
We're going to clap your hands and stomp your feet because bubble gum, it can't be beat. We're going to clap your hands and stomp your feet because bubble gum, it can't be beat. We're going to clap your hands and stomp your feet because bubble gum, it can't be beat.
Holy cow! What a jam.
JOY DOLO: I've been waiting to share that song with the world for so long.
MOLLY BLOOM: Whew! Whew. I will be hearing that in my head for the rest of my life. All right, Alsa, now it's your turn. What kind of flavorful funk do gummy bears groove to?
ALSA BRUNO: Can you turn me up in the headphones?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
(SINGING) Honey, are you candy like this? Lollies, are you soft in a fist? Bubble gum, do you taste like this or does your flavor disappear like it blew a kiss? I think we are ready for sweets like jelly. Tastes so good they made one two tons heavy. Loved by kids for a century. We want tasty, fruity, delicious gummy bears. I think we need candy that is friendly.
Celebrating flavors completamente not made of candy sticky garbage. We want tasty, fruity, delicious gummy bears. Gummies yummy. Bubble gummies, not good for bubble tummies. Nasty gum. Bubble yuck. Gummy bear-licious? Gummy bear-licious.
[LAUGHTER]
JOY DOLO: Gummy bear yummy.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow.
JOY DOLO: That was just like spoken word.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my goodness, these are two epic, epic jams. Yaretzi, what did you like about those two songs?
YARETZI: Well, I've never been much of a fan of ASMR, but that second song was very nice. It was giving like whispering in your ear. And that is that a cover to-- what's that one song?
ALSA BRUNO: Ooh.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, I don't think you're ready for this jelly?
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah.
YARETZI: Yes!
MOLLY BLOOM: "Bootylicious" by Destiny's Child?
JOY DOLO: Bootylicious by Destiny's Child, yes.
ALSA BRUNO: By Destiny's Child.
JOY DOLO: That I think actually in that video, they were chewing gum during this.
ALSA BRUNO: I think they were chewing gum, but they--
JOY DOLO: They were when they were dancing.
ALSA BRUNO: For the video?
JOY DOLO: I didn't want to bring it up, but, you know.
ALSA BRUNO: Here's the thing, between each take, they spat out the gum and they ate gummy bears.
JOY DOLO: No, they didn't.
ALSA BRUNO: Between every take.
JOY DOLO: It's on VH1 Documentaries.
MOLLY BLOOM: And, Yaretzi, what stood out to you about that bubble gum song?
YARETZI: Well, I really liked the beats and the little-- what's it? The blubber blubber.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, yeah, Blibber-Blubber.
[LAUGHTER]
YARETZI: Yeah, Blibber-Blubber. Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's a tongue twister, yeah.
YARETZI: Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: But it's got a great beat.
YARETZI: Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right.
JOY DOLO: It's giving Blibber-Blubber.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Yaretzi, it's time to award a point. The criteria are completely up to you. Is one of these songs one you want to listen to on repeat, one you want to dance to, one that taught you something, made you feel good? Whatever it is, it's up to you. Have you made your decision?
YARETZI: Yes, I have.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, fantastic. Then it's time for our third around, the super stealthy--
SUBJECT 8: Ha-ha hoo-ha! --Sneak Attack.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is our improv round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Speaking of Destiny's Child, this Sneak Attack is called Say My Name, Say My Name. For this challenge, you have ten seconds to convince us that your side is the best by only using the words in the name of your side. And then you get to do a rebuttal using your opponent's name.
How expressive can you be? Do not hold back. You can make sound effects with your mouth. For example, if my side was hawk, I'd say, hawk, hawk, caw, swoosh, hawk, hawk. Make sense?
JOY DOLO: Yes.
ALSA BRUNO: Mm-hmm.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Joy went first last time. So, Alsa, you start. Tell us about the glory of gummy bears by only using the words gummy bear. And your ten seconds starts now.
ALSA BRUNO: Gummy bear. Gummy bear! Gummy bear, gummy bear? Gummy bear.
[MUMBLING]
Gummy bear.
MOLLY BLOOM: The perfect timing.
ALSA BRUNO: Nom nom nom nom.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Now, Joy, let's hear your positive feelings about bubble gum. Your time starts now.
JOY DOLO: Bubble gum? Bubble gum! Bubble gum. Gummy bubble! (SINGING) Bubble pop gum. Bubble.
MOLLY BLOOM: Time
[LAUGHTER]
ALSA BRUNO: Just as the beginning of an ocean of sound.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Now, Joy, let's hear your negative feelings about gummy bears only saying the words gummy bears. Your time starts now.
JOY DOLO: Gummy bears? Bears? Gummy. Gum. [RETCHES] Gum. Gum-- gum bears. Gummy Bears!
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
[LAUGHTER]
ALSA BRUNO: Gummy. Bah bah bah bah bah.
MOLLY BLOOM: Right, Alsa, let's hear your not so positive opinions of bubble gum. Your time starts now.
ALSA BRUNO: Bubble-- gum. Mug gum. Mug gum. El bubble.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
ALSA BRUNO: Bubble.
JOY DOLO: El bubble? Disqualification.
ALSA BRUNO: I was spoiled. Putting them all backwards.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my goodness, that is a thinker of a round.
JOY DOLO: Blub.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yaretzi, please award whichever team impressed you the most a point again.
YARETZI: Can I just say that team Gummy Bears was like playing Scrabble with the words.
[LAUGHTER]
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah, that's right.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah, it's up to you if you want to have that count in its favor or against it. You're the judge. You get to decide. Have you made your decision?
YARETZI: Yes, I have.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, and it's time for our final around, the Final Six. In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. All right, Joy, you've got six words to put the yum in gum.
JOY DOLO: Blibber-Blubber, blow, bequeath boundless besties.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw! Very nice. Now, Alsa, it's time to show why gummy bears bring better bites. Let's hear those Final Six.
ALSA BRUNO: Full flavor, bear buddy, yummy gummy.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my goodness, two extraordinary Final Sixes there. Yaretzi, please award your final point. Have you made your decision?
YARETZI: Yes.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, tally up those points. Are you ready to crown one team the Smash Boom Best?
YARETZI: I am.
MOLLY BLOOM: Drum roll please.
[DRUM ROLL]
The winner is--
YARETZI: Team Scrabble with the Gummy Bears!
[CHEERING]
JOY DOLO: Wow.
ALSA BRUNO: Oh my god!
JOY DOLO: Wow.
YARETZI: I'm very sorry for this betrayal. I'm super sorry. I'm very sorry. I really wanted you to win.
JOY DOLO: You don't have to apologize. You followed your heart.
ALSA BRUNO: That's right. That's right. And the people are with you.
[LAUGHTER]
All of the forests.
JOY DOLO: I would like my piece of gum back, though. I would like that back.
YARETZI: No!
[LAUGHTER]
ALSA BRUNO: You got to call LA. LA, give me my gum back, please.
YARETZI: Guys, it wasn't over until it was over.
MOLLY BLOOM: So, Yaretzi, was there a moment that really sealed the deal for gummy bears?
YARETZI: Yeah, OK. So you guys were tied up until the end.
JOY DOLO: Mm.
MOLLY BLOOM: It was a very close debate?
YARETZI: Yeah, it was. It was neck and neck up until then. And this the song was also very, very nice. Both of them were really catchy, but I think the Destiny's Child, it spoke to me.
JOY DOLO: I hear that.
MOLLY BLOOM: The influence of Beyoncé is huge.
JOY DOLO: It's huge.
YARETZI: Oh, Beyoncé, yes.
ALSA BRUNO: OK, I know I said a lot about trash--
JOY DOLO: You did.
ALSA BRUNO: --and garbage and stuff.
JOY DOLO: You mentioned trash a lot.
ALSA BRUNO: But what I didn't know about bubblegum was, first off, the term Blibber-Blabber--
JOY DOLO: Blibber-Blubber.
ALSA BRUNO: --is maybe one of the most joyful sounds I've ever heard.
MOLLY BLOOM: It is.
ALSA BRUNO: Truly. You said I was a good opponent. Once I learned I had to go up against you, I had to rewrite what I had.
JOY DOLO: Oh, really?
ALSA BRUNO: Yes! Are you playing? I was like, oh, this is like a real comedy thing. I've got to show up. And then you return with blibber-blabbler. Like I--
JOY DOLO: Blubber. Blibber-Blubber.
ALSA BRUNO: See? Look at me.
JOY DOLO: I love you.
ALSA BRUNO: I thought I learned, but I was so busy trying to insult you.
[LAUGHTER]
I had no idea about the latex. I actually do eat a ton of bubble gum. It was really hard to not believe in bubble gum this whole time, especially since you were the one behind it. But I think you made me better, and now I learned about gummy bears because of you.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw.
JOY DOLO: I did really like the idea of how you had a best friend that was also made of gummy bears because I was like, it is community no matter which way you look at it. If you're giving out bubble gum or you're giving out candy, it's a nice way to make a friend. And you are my friend. And I also really liked all the facts about the Haribo.
[LAUGHTER]
It was so interesting, why his wife worked, why doesn't he have any friends?
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
JOY DOLO: I just have so many questions. No, but this has been really fun. I had a great time. And again, this is all out of fun. I love Alsa. We've known each other for a very long time, so.
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, it was a true delight. That is it for today's debate battle. Yaretzi crowned gummy Bears the Smash Boom Best, but what about you?
YARETZI: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios.
JOY DOLO: It's produced by Molly Bloom, Rose DuPont, Ruby Guthrie, and Aron Woldeslassie.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Derek Ramirez with sound design by Anna Weggel and Marc Sanchez.
ALSA BRUNO: Our editors are Shahla Farzan and Sanden Totten.
JOY DOLO: And we had production help from Anna Goldfield and Nico Gonzalez Wisler.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman. And the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati, Alex Schaffert and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. And we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman. Alsa, is there anyone you want to give a shout out to today?
ALSA BRUNO: Oh my gosh, I want to give a shout out to all of my nieces and my one nephew and my future nieces and nephews. Oh my gosh, and the nieces and nephews I didn't realize were my nieces and nephews.
[LAUGHTER]
Wow. All of you. There's so many people, I guess, now. I just want to thank everyone. I thank Yaretzi for this W. Ah. I thank my mom.
YARETZI: I'm expecting my $40.
[LAUGHTER]
JOY DOLO: I knew something happened when I went to the bathroom.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: And how about you, Joy? Any special shout outs?
JOY DOLO: Oh, you know I always want to thank Alsa's nieces and nephews as well. And, Yaretzi, it's been really great talking to you and chatting. It's been really fun. And everyone that listened to this because you're the reason the world goes around. And also, go out and make a friend and thank them.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw, Joy. You are a Joy. And what about you, Yaretzi? Any special thanks?
YARETZI: Just thank you to you guys for having me here and thank you for listening to my sometimes funny, sometimes not funny jokes and laughing. That's the best part, laughing at my unfunny jokes. Thank you for that.
MOLLY BLOOM: I enjoyed all of your jokes.
JOY DOLO: You were great. You were so wonderful.
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah, you're amazing, Yaretzi.
YARETZI: Thank you.
MOLLY BLOOM: Before we go, let's check in with Lily and see who she thinks should win her Eiffel Tower versus White House debate.
LILY: I think the Eiffel Tower should win because it's in the city of love.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you have an idea for a knock-down-drag-out debate? Head to smashboom.org and tell us about it. We'll be back with a new debate battle next week. Ta-ta.
ALSA BRUNO: Deuces.
JOY DOLO: Blibber-Blubber
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Who put you through the test? Hoo, you're the Smash Boom Best. Oh, better than the rest. It's Smash Boom Best. It's Smash Boom Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's all for funsies.
JOY DOLO: Except when me and Alsa get to the parking lot after this then we'll see.
[LAUGHTER]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi. I'm Molly Bloom. And this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is a tasty tussle. On one side, we've got the hubbub of hubba bubba versus the bite-size bear to beware. It's the chew champion versus the gummy grizzly. Grab your lunchboxes and protect your hair because it's Gummy Bears versus Bubble Gum.
For team Gummy Bears, we've got actor, improviser, and creative extraordinaire Alsa Bruno.
ALSA BRUNO: Yummy gummy, give me some-y in my tummy.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: And for team Bubble Gum is Forever Ago host Joy Dolo.
JOY DOLO: I'm so excited I'm going to pop. Chew don't stand a chance. I would blow it up, but I don't want to get in bubble.
ALSA BRUNO: OK. All right, that's enough. Nobody wants that much.
MOLLY BLOOM: And here to judge it all is Yaretzi from Los Angeles. Yaretzi Enjoys playing sports, is an aspiring cat lady, and she loves hot sauce so much she can drink it straight from the bottle. Hi, Yaretzi.
YARETZI: Hi.
[CHUCKLES]
MOLLY BLOOM: Yaretzi, you love cats. So I'm wondering, do you have any of your own?
YARETZI: Oh, well, I do have one cat. His name is monkey. He's so cute. We always called him spider monkey because he likes to jump around and just go everywhere. And then we ended up just switching his name to monkey and now that's just his name. So whenever we walk into the vet, they kind of just stare at us. And they're like, OK, so you named your PET after another-- OK, yeah, sure, sure. Yeah yeah, that makes perfect sense, yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: I like it. And we need to find a monkey named cat then we'll be all set.
YARETZI: Exactly. Ooh, I should adopt one.
MOLLY BLOOM: So you love hot sauce. What is your favorite kind?
YARETZI: Tapatío, 100%. You can never go wrong. OK, you have Tabasco. You have Valentina. There's many, right?
MOLLY BLOOM: So many.
YARETZI: Oh, I also really like homemade hot sauce, like homemade salsa too. My mom makes the best. But definitely Tapatío because it's like you can reach it anywhere. They even give it out at schools.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent point. Tapatío already has your Yaretzi's heart, but who will she choose today? Glorious Gummy Bears or beloved Bubble Gum? Only she can tell. OK, Yaretzi, are you ready to judge this thing?
YARETZI: No. Yes, I'm kidding. Yes, I am ready.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Before we get into this debate, it's time to review the rules of the game.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Every debate consists of four rounds of argumentation, the Declaration of Greatness, the Micro Round, the Sneak Attack, and the Final Six. After each round, our judge Yaretzi will award points to the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website smashboom.org and vote for whichever team you think won.
All right. Joy, Alsa, and Yaretzi, are you ready?
JOY DOLO: I am, and I'm sticking to it. You knew it was coming. You knew there was going to be another one.
ALSA BRUNO: Mm-hmm. I am. And I'm very ready.
[LAUGHTER]
YARETZI: I'm very excited. I'm bubbling over with Joy.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yes!
JOY DOLO: Yes, I got two.
MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for the Declaration of Greatness. In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin, and Alsa you're up first. Tell us why gummy bears are the treat that can't be beat.
ALSA BRUNO: OK, so I had the strangest dream last night. I was alone in the woods going-- I don't know where when I heard a sound behind me. I whipped around, and there staring me down was the biggest bear I had ever seen!
And then it opened its arms and hugged me. What? It was a gummy bear. He smelled like strawberries, had an adorable little smile, and twirled me around like a joyful, jiggly carousel who just couldn't wait to see me smile. And then I took a bite out of his shoulder, and he was delicious. Gummy bears, they were designed to bring you joy.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Gummy bears were invented by a German man named Hans Riegel Sr. in 1922. He called them tanzbar, which translates to the dancing bear after the real dancing bears once found at circuses and festivals across Europe.
SUBJECT 1: After two long years of experimentation, confectioner Hans Riegel Sr. Was struck with one sweet idea. We've got the man here. Riegel, tell us about this dandy new candy.
SUBJECT 2: Mein gosh, thanks. You know, I was messing about with a colorless hard candy, and I thought, this is no fun, candy should be soft, colorful. It should want to play with you like the dancing bears at the circus. And then, boom, I thought, that's it, I will make soft, little candy bears.
SUBJECT 1: Incredible! And where did you get the name of your company, Haribo?
SUBJECT 2: Me. I'm Hans Riegel from Bonn. HA-RI-BO, Haribo.
SUBJECT 1: Infallible logic. And your beloved wife and only employee Gertrud delivers these fruit flavored flavors across Germany on a bike. Oh, here she comes now. Gertrud.
SUBJECT 3: Busy. OK, thanks. Bye!
ALSA BRUNO: So gummy grandpa Riegel created the Haribo company to make candy with personality, that inspires play, a candy that could be as funny as it is yummy. The company motto is kids and grown-ups love it so, the happy world of Haribo. And it's a reminder to pursue happiness. It's like my little buddy Gummy Bar always says--
GUMMY BAR: Happiness makes the world go round. I would know, I'm a gummy bear.
ALSA BRUNO: Speaking of Earth, Haribo alone makes 160 million gummy bears per day worldwide. That means every year, they make enough gummies to wrap around the Earth four times.
GUMMY BAR: We need lots of gummies to make tummies go yummy. Gummies can be good for you too, in the right doses. They're popular with bodybuilders because they have the perfect balance of sugars to help replenish your muscles after a workout.
GUMMY BAR: Munch, munch, munch. Let us pump you up.
ALSA BRUNO: And now gummy bears are at the forefront of snack science. There are entire laboratories dedicated to creating gummy bears to battle tooth decay and vitamin deficiencies.
GUMMY BAR: We are here to help.
ALSA BRUNO: Thanks, Gummy Bar. Gummy Bears are our friends, someone to play with. They were made for our entire brain to enjoy. Recreate your favorite movie scene with them. Stack them in a tower. Perform gummy surgery and mix their parts together.
SUBJECT 4: It's alive.
ALSA BRUNO: Or keep one in your pocket for advice throughout the day.
GUMMY BAR: I was made with two ears for listening to my best friend, you.
ALSA BRUNO: A candy to feed us, inspire us, and make us kinder to ourselves.
GUMMY BAR: Now that's yummy, Baron.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow, Gummy Bears coming in strong there. All right, Yaretzi, what stood out to you about Alsa's argument.
YARETZI: Honestly, it was really well constructed, I'm not going to lie. I really like that the origin story of like the gummy bears. I think his name was Hans from Germany. He wanted to create candy alternatives because all the old candy back then, many, many, many centuries ago, was like was like hard candy. And this is a soft alternative to it. And I really liked how the whole like pursuit on happiness, having a little gummy bear in your pocket.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah.
YARETZI: I liked all of that.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's hard not to smile, but Joy is going to try to make us stop.
[LAUGHTER]
Joy, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to take a bite out of Alsa's argument. And your time starts now.
JOY DOLO: OK, listen. So I know that we're talking about pursuing happiness, but how can you pursue happiness when bears are literally scary. Like, you started it off with, they are terrifying. They don't smile at you, Alsa. They have vicious teeth that they use to eat small animals. And Hans Haribo? More like Hari-ble.
[LAUGHTER]
Get it? Haribo? Horrible? That's why nobody would work with him. It's just his wife. Only his wife would work with him. And he looked at bears in a circus and was like, oh, we should make them edible. They are in animal captivity.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
JOY DOLO: They're in animal jail!
[LAUGHTER]
ALSA BRUNO: Oh, yeah. Well, the thing is I don't know if you've been to animal jail, it's fun to get out.
[LAUGHTER]
Hans is looking out for all the bear folk, showing this is what liberation looks like, you can be soft, you don't have to eat everyone, look at the smiles you could have, look at all these colors.
JOY DOLO: I absolutely agree. I think this is absolutely right. And I also want to say that I really like the part where you're like, oh, your friend, the gummy bear in the script, and you ate them. Do you do you eat all your friends?
ALSA BRUNO: Um, I--
JOY DOLO: Is that what your brand is, Alsa? Be my friend, I might chew on your ankles.
ALSA BRUNO: My brand is if you need your ankle chewed and my mouth is free--
JOY DOLO: Can I ask what kind of friends you have that need to be gnawed on?
ALSA BRUNO: Friends with itchy ankles.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Joy. All right, tell us why gum has the chew that you got to do.
JOY DOLO: Psst. Hey, you with the eyeballs and the shirt and the mouth with all the teeth that's perfect for chewing, want to know a secret? I love bubble gum. It's chewy, it's pink, and you can blow bubbles.
NELSON: Ha oh! Nice bubble, Joy.
JOY DOLO: Thanks, Nelson. Nelson is my park pal. We became friends after I offered him a piece of bubble gum.
NELSON: Now we're bubble buds.
JOY DOLO: That's one of the best things about bubble gum, the individually wrapped morsels of bubble blowing goodness are so easy to share. And who doesn't like gum? It's such an effortless way to build community. Gummy bears are great, but once you chew them, they're gone in mere seconds. Bubble gum feels like an accomplishment.
NELSON: Oh, yeah. It's really special once you learn how to do it, like learning how to whistle or taking off the training wheels on your bike.
JOY DOLO: Or learning to jump rope, a skill that you can keep forever. It's a milestone, not to mention that satisfying pop.
NELSON: Plus, gum is super useful.
JOY DOLO: Totally, bubble buddy. It can be a great way to keep your concentration. When I'm on long road trips, chewing it helps me stay focused. When I'm taking a test, I stay super focused with my gums flapping. When I'm cooking, cleaning or playing Zelda, Tears of the Kingdom, I can always maintain my brain power with my chompers chomping.
NELSON: It's also great for sticking stuff together. One time, I dropped my keys down a gutter, but I stuck some trusty bubble gum on my shoelace and pulled them out.
JOY DOLO: Whoa, you really MacGyvered that or rather Mc-gum-ered it.
[CHUCKLES]
Do you get it? Do you get what I did there? I switched the guy with the gum.
NELSON: Uh, who or what is a MacGyver?
JOY DOLO: There's no time to explain that mystical mulleted man. Ask your parents or maybe your grandparents. Go on YouTube. It's great anyways. Anyways, bubble gum is older than your grandparents. It's said to have started with this man called Frank Fleer in the early 1900s. He called it--
SUBJECT 5: Blibber-Blubber, the blibbiest blubber this side of the Atlantic.
JOY DOLO: Say that three times fast. The blibbiest blubber-- the blippi-- blibbiest blubber-- blippi-- blibbiest bla bla bli beh. Bli ble bah beh. Even though Blibber-Blubber was the perfect name for bubble gum, it was not the perfect formula. When you popped a bubble of Blibber-Blubber, it was really sticky and difficult to get out of your skin.
SUBJECT 5: Ouch! Now I'm going to have to scrub this off. Quick, fetch me the turpentine!
JOY DOLO: This all changed years later when an accountant at Fleer's company named Walter Diemer started experimenting with the recipe in his free time at work. Diemer accidentally perfected the recipe when he added more latex, making it less sticky and more stretchy, perfect for blowing bubbles. It was also only by coincidence that bubble gum is pink. It was the only food coloring they had on hand.
Diemer's bubble gum became known as Dubble Bubble allegedly because it made bubbles double the size of Fleer's original recipe. Dubble Bubble, bigger the size.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Dubble bubble. Bubble bubble.
And since Diemer's creation, bubble gum has left a sticky impression on us all. There's the color bubble gum, that perfect shade of light pink. There's the unique flavor of bubble gum, vaguely fruity and softly tropical. It flavors ice cream, toothpaste, heck, even McDonald's tried making bubble gum-flavored broccoli.
NELSON: For realsies. You got to look it up.
JOY DOLO: There's also a whole genre of music called bubble gum pop. It's basically sweet, catchy pop music that sticks in your head. Get it? Sticks like bubble gum?
[CHUCKLES]
It got started in the late 1960s and early '70s with tunes like "Sugar Sugar" by The Archies.
[THE ARCHIES, "SUGAR SUGAR"]
I just can't believe it's true. Ah, sugar. Oh, honey, honey.
Bubblegum is in movies and TV, from "Grease" to "Adventure Time," is a staple of baseball. It's an All-American classic. The same is just not true for gummy bears. So if we're looking for the most fun, useful, culturally iconic candy, not to mention the best Blibber-Blubber bubble in town, get some bubble gum.
NELSON: And be our bubble bud.
BOTH: Let's get popping!
MOLLY BLOOM: Joy blowing my mind with her Blibber-Blubber. Yaretzi, what stood out to you about Joy's Declaration of Greatness?
YARETZI: Well, a lot stood out to me, especially just the effortless way of building the community, especially me when I was younger. I can just imagine myself sitting at a table with random people I don't know and pulling out the gum. And if they ask, can I have a piece of bubble gum? It's just a way of building a friendship. When I was younger, I would ask people for a pencil on the first day of school, even though I had a pencil, just to make friends.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw!
YARETZI: But that's something you could do with bubble gum too, especially for young kids that need more friends.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah.
YARETZI: If you have bubble gum, you can just offer them some and create new friendships.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's lovely.
YARETZI: I thought that part really stood out to me.
JOY DOLO: Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah, that's what I did too when I was younger. It's either I would give gum or I would ask for gum. And then you can always ask like, what kind is your favorite? And you can follow up with questions and then maybe make a friend.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's a beautiful way to make friends.
JOY DOLO: So you don't have a gummy bear friend like some people I know.
MOLLY BLOOM: But now, Alsa, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to chew out team Bubble Gum. And your time starts now.
ALSA BRUNO: I appreciate you talking about community building because I feel like bubble gum is a great way to build community of people who have trash.
[LAUGHTER]
You kind of brought it out in the same Declaration of Greatness was the death knell. Bubble gum is so lovely and it tastes like itself. And the reason it tastes like itself is, I heard, latex. It tastes like latex? I don't think latex is edible, but here we go chewing on--
MOLLY BLOOM: And--
ALSA BRUNO: --latex with--
MOLLY BLOOM: --time.
ALSA BRUNO: Useless, pink, extra garbage pink--
JOY DOLO: That's time. That's time. You got to respect the process.
ALSA BRUNO: The staple of baseball? Who likes base-- I'm sorry, go ahead.
JOY DOLO: Like millions of people like baseball.
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. For sure. For sure.
JOY DOLO: Can I say something?
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah, yeah. It's like golf. It's like the golf academy. Go ahead.
JOY DOLO: OK, so here's the thing, when you say trash, I hear fresh.
[ALSA CHUCKLES]
Each little present is wrapped for you individually sometimes. Sometimes they don't even wrap them, they just come together. But sometimes you get it individually wrapped. And you know what happens with gummy bears when it gets hot?
ALSA BRUNO: What happens to them?
JOY DOLO: Have you ever had a hot gummy bear?
ALSA BRUNO: Yes, I have. Yes, I have.
JOY DOLO: You don't just have one, you have a pile.
ALSA BRUNO: Have you ever had gummy bear soup?
JOY DOLO: And then you don't even know what the flavor is anymore. It's like, is it gold, is it orange, is it green?
ALSA BRUNO: You know what it's not?
JOY DOLO: What even flavor is that?
ALSA BRUNO: You know what it's not? Pink. You know what it's not? Pink.
JOY DOLO: That is consistent. People like consistency.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my goodness.
JOY DOLO: You look at all these colors, ROYGBIV. No, we have one color.
ALSA BRUNO: No!
JOY DOLO: We have one statement. We have one sentiment, one brand. We are pink bubble gum baseball-loving--
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah, that's right. That's right That's right. Nice to meet you, new friends at school. We don't have any other colors for you. We have only pink and garbage.
JOY DOLO: Wow.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Yaretzi, it is time to award some points. This is a tough decision. One point for the Declaration of Greatness that you liked best and one point to the most awesome rebuttal. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. One team make you laugh? Did one use legendary logic?
Did one make you think? Did one make you feel? Whatever it is, please award your points, but don't tell us who's getting them. Both points go to the same person or each person could get a point. Have you made your decision?
YARETZI: I feel so powerful right now.
[LAUGHTER]
ALSA BRUNO: You should.
JOY DOLO: Our lives rest in your hands.
MOLLY BLOOM: Have you made your decision?
YARETZI: Sure. Yeah, yeah, I've made my decision.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Joy and Alsa, how are you two feeling so far?
JOY DOLO: I'm feeling hot.
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah, warm, good.
JOY DOLO: Yeah, yeah, I feel warmed up. I feel like this is a worthy opponent, very worthy because we have shared many a candy--
ALSA BRUNO: Mm-hmm.
JOY DOLO: --over the years. Many, many a candy.
ALSA BRUNO: Do you remember that Crunch Bar?
JOY DOLO: Do you remember that Starburst?
ALSA BRUNO: Oh my god.
JOY DOLO: Oh my gosh. Long story short, we're feeling good.
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah.
JOY DOLO: We're feeling good, Molly.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, it's time for a quick snack break.
YARETZI: Because we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
SUBJECT 6: You're listening to "State of Debate," home to raging rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TAYLOR: Hey, yo, and welcome to the show. I'm Taylor "The Tinkering" Lincoln.
TODD: And I'm Todd "The Rug" Douglas.
TAYLOR: Rug?
TODD: Yeah, I'm plush, comforting, and I like lying on the floor. Plus, I love feet.
TAYLOR: You love feet?
TODD: I do. Think how much they do for you every single day, the burden they carry.
TAYLOR: Are you calling my body a burden?
TODD: No, but sometimes your feet need a break. Taylor, stop the tinkering. I'm serious. Put down that broken toaster and take a load off.
TAYLOR: Todd, are you feeling OK?
TODD: Maybe, maybe not, but I just heard a doozy of a fallacy, the enemy of a good argument. And this one is a foot fallacy.
TAYLOR: OK, let's hear it.
TODD: The two voices you're about to hear are my own two feet talking to each other. Hit it.
LEFTY: Ugh. I have a bunion.
SUBJECT 7: What's that, like a toe ring or something? I've always wanted a toe ring with inlaid turquoise.
[GASPS]
LEFTY: No, it's a medical condition.
SUBJECT 7: What? I've never heard of a bunion before. I've heard Todd talk about onions. He likes to eat them raw, apparently.
LEFTY: A bunion is a painful bump, and it's on the side of my big toe.
SUBJECT 7: You are totally silly, Lefty. Bunions, uh, not a thing.
LEFTY: Just because you haven't heard the word bunion doesn't make my pain any less real.
TODD: Lefty, a.k.a. my left foot, is right. My right foot is wrong.
TAYLOR: Yep, your right foot used the personal incredulity fallacy. Just because they don't know what a bunion is doesn't mean bunions don't exist.
TODD: I know. My feet have been fighting a lot recently. I need to take them to couples therapy.
TAYLOR: You do that, Todd. But maybe in the interim, take a nap.
TODD: Yeah, then my tootsies will get some rest as well. Maybe I'll indulge in my rug-like nature and nap on the floor.
TAYLOR: All right! Well, OK. This has been "State of Debate!"
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Best. Boom. Smash. Smash Boom Best!
MOLLY BLOOM: You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
YARETZI: And I'm your judge, Yaretzi.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this awesome debate idea from Lily.
LILY: My name is Lily. And my idea is the Eiffel Tower versus the White House.
YARETZI: Ooh, a destination debate.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back with Lily at the end of this episode to see which side she thinks should win.
YARETZI: And now it's back to today's debate, Bubble Gum versus Gummy Bears!
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right and it's time for round two, the-- Micro Round. For the Micro Round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. Today's Micro Round challenge is called Gummy Groove. Joy and Alsa, for this challenge, we asked you to write a yummy gummy groove about the glories of your side. Alsa went first last time. So, Joy, you're up. Let's hear your bubble gum jam.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
(SINGING) Three easy instructions. Unwrap it. Chew it. Blow it. Do it. Ow! Sticky, sticky, stick. Pinky, pinky, pick. It's fantastic, lasts forever. Tastes good, yummy in my tummy. Been around since cutting lumber. Nod your head like you're in a clubber. Hubba bubba Double Bubble Blibber-Blubber. Clap your hands and stomp your feet cause bubble gum, it can't be beat.
We're going to clap your hands and stomp your feet because bubble gum, it can't be beat. We're going to clap your hands and stomp your feet because bubble gum, it can't be beat. We're going to clap your hands and stomp your feet because bubble gum, it can't be beat.
Holy cow! What a jam.
JOY DOLO: I've been waiting to share that song with the world for so long.
MOLLY BLOOM: Whew! Whew. I will be hearing that in my head for the rest of my life. All right, Alsa, now it's your turn. What kind of flavorful funk do gummy bears groove to?
ALSA BRUNO: Can you turn me up in the headphones?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
(SINGING) Honey, are you candy like this? Lollies, are you soft in a fist? Bubble gum, do you taste like this or does your flavor disappear like it blew a kiss? I think we are ready for sweets like jelly. Tastes so good they made one two tons heavy. Loved by kids for a century. We want tasty, fruity, delicious gummy bears. I think we need candy that is friendly.
Celebrating flavors completamente not made of candy sticky garbage. We want tasty, fruity, delicious gummy bears. Gummies yummy. Bubble gummies, not good for bubble tummies. Nasty gum. Bubble yuck. Gummy bear-licious? Gummy bear-licious.
[LAUGHTER]
JOY DOLO: Gummy bear yummy.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow.
JOY DOLO: That was just like spoken word.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my goodness, these are two epic, epic jams. Yaretzi, what did you like about those two songs?
YARETZI: Well, I've never been much of a fan of ASMR, but that second song was very nice. It was giving like whispering in your ear. And that is that a cover to-- what's that one song?
ALSA BRUNO: Ooh.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, I don't think you're ready for this jelly?
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah.
YARETZI: Yes!
MOLLY BLOOM: "Bootylicious" by Destiny's Child?
JOY DOLO: Bootylicious by Destiny's Child, yes.
ALSA BRUNO: By Destiny's Child.
JOY DOLO: That I think actually in that video, they were chewing gum during this.
ALSA BRUNO: I think they were chewing gum, but they--
JOY DOLO: They were when they were dancing.
ALSA BRUNO: For the video?
JOY DOLO: I didn't want to bring it up, but, you know.
ALSA BRUNO: Here's the thing, between each take, they spat out the gum and they ate gummy bears.
JOY DOLO: No, they didn't.
ALSA BRUNO: Between every take.
JOY DOLO: It's on VH1 Documentaries.
MOLLY BLOOM: And, Yaretzi, what stood out to you about that bubble gum song?
YARETZI: Well, I really liked the beats and the little-- what's it? The blubber blubber.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, yeah, Blibber-Blubber.
[LAUGHTER]
YARETZI: Yeah, Blibber-Blubber. Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's a tongue twister, yeah.
YARETZI: Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: But it's got a great beat.
YARETZI: Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right.
JOY DOLO: It's giving Blibber-Blubber.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Yaretzi, it's time to award a point. The criteria are completely up to you. Is one of these songs one you want to listen to on repeat, one you want to dance to, one that taught you something, made you feel good? Whatever it is, it's up to you. Have you made your decision?
YARETZI: Yes, I have.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, fantastic. Then it's time for our third around, the super stealthy--
SUBJECT 8: Ha-ha hoo-ha! --Sneak Attack.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is our improv round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Speaking of Destiny's Child, this Sneak Attack is called Say My Name, Say My Name. For this challenge, you have ten seconds to convince us that your side is the best by only using the words in the name of your side. And then you get to do a rebuttal using your opponent's name.
How expressive can you be? Do not hold back. You can make sound effects with your mouth. For example, if my side was hawk, I'd say, hawk, hawk, caw, swoosh, hawk, hawk. Make sense?
JOY DOLO: Yes.
ALSA BRUNO: Mm-hmm.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Joy went first last time. So, Alsa, you start. Tell us about the glory of gummy bears by only using the words gummy bear. And your ten seconds starts now.
ALSA BRUNO: Gummy bear. Gummy bear! Gummy bear, gummy bear? Gummy bear.
[MUMBLING]
Gummy bear.
MOLLY BLOOM: The perfect timing.
ALSA BRUNO: Nom nom nom nom.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Now, Joy, let's hear your positive feelings about bubble gum. Your time starts now.
JOY DOLO: Bubble gum? Bubble gum! Bubble gum. Gummy bubble! (SINGING) Bubble pop gum. Bubble.
MOLLY BLOOM: Time
[LAUGHTER]
ALSA BRUNO: Just as the beginning of an ocean of sound.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Now, Joy, let's hear your negative feelings about gummy bears only saying the words gummy bears. Your time starts now.
JOY DOLO: Gummy bears? Bears? Gummy. Gum. [RETCHES] Gum. Gum-- gum bears. Gummy Bears!
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
[LAUGHTER]
ALSA BRUNO: Gummy. Bah bah bah bah bah.
MOLLY BLOOM: Right, Alsa, let's hear your not so positive opinions of bubble gum. Your time starts now.
ALSA BRUNO: Bubble-- gum. Mug gum. Mug gum. El bubble.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
ALSA BRUNO: Bubble.
JOY DOLO: El bubble? Disqualification.
ALSA BRUNO: I was spoiled. Putting them all backwards.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my goodness, that is a thinker of a round.
JOY DOLO: Blub.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yaretzi, please award whichever team impressed you the most a point again.
YARETZI: Can I just say that team Gummy Bears was like playing Scrabble with the words.
[LAUGHTER]
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah, that's right.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah, it's up to you if you want to have that count in its favor or against it. You're the judge. You get to decide. Have you made your decision?
YARETZI: Yes, I have.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, and it's time for our final around, the Final Six. In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. All right, Joy, you've got six words to put the yum in gum.
JOY DOLO: Blibber-Blubber, blow, bequeath boundless besties.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw! Very nice. Now, Alsa, it's time to show why gummy bears bring better bites. Let's hear those Final Six.
ALSA BRUNO: Full flavor, bear buddy, yummy gummy.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my goodness, two extraordinary Final Sixes there. Yaretzi, please award your final point. Have you made your decision?
YARETZI: Yes.
[BELL DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, tally up those points. Are you ready to crown one team the Smash Boom Best?
YARETZI: I am.
MOLLY BLOOM: Drum roll please.
[DRUM ROLL]
The winner is--
YARETZI: Team Scrabble with the Gummy Bears!
[CHEERING]
JOY DOLO: Wow.
ALSA BRUNO: Oh my god!
JOY DOLO: Wow.
YARETZI: I'm very sorry for this betrayal. I'm super sorry. I'm very sorry. I really wanted you to win.
JOY DOLO: You don't have to apologize. You followed your heart.
ALSA BRUNO: That's right. That's right. And the people are with you.
[LAUGHTER]
All of the forests.
JOY DOLO: I would like my piece of gum back, though. I would like that back.
YARETZI: No!
[LAUGHTER]
ALSA BRUNO: You got to call LA. LA, give me my gum back, please.
YARETZI: Guys, it wasn't over until it was over.
MOLLY BLOOM: So, Yaretzi, was there a moment that really sealed the deal for gummy bears?
YARETZI: Yeah, OK. So you guys were tied up until the end.
JOY DOLO: Mm.
MOLLY BLOOM: It was a very close debate?
YARETZI: Yeah, it was. It was neck and neck up until then. And this the song was also very, very nice. Both of them were really catchy, but I think the Destiny's Child, it spoke to me.
JOY DOLO: I hear that.
MOLLY BLOOM: The influence of Beyoncé is huge.
JOY DOLO: It's huge.
YARETZI: Oh, Beyoncé, yes.
ALSA BRUNO: OK, I know I said a lot about trash--
JOY DOLO: You did.
ALSA BRUNO: --and garbage and stuff.
JOY DOLO: You mentioned trash a lot.
ALSA BRUNO: But what I didn't know about bubblegum was, first off, the term Blibber-Blabber--
JOY DOLO: Blibber-Blubber.
ALSA BRUNO: --is maybe one of the most joyful sounds I've ever heard.
MOLLY BLOOM: It is.
ALSA BRUNO: Truly. You said I was a good opponent. Once I learned I had to go up against you, I had to rewrite what I had.
JOY DOLO: Oh, really?
ALSA BRUNO: Yes! Are you playing? I was like, oh, this is like a real comedy thing. I've got to show up. And then you return with blibber-blabbler. Like I--
JOY DOLO: Blubber. Blibber-Blubber.
ALSA BRUNO: See? Look at me.
JOY DOLO: I love you.
ALSA BRUNO: I thought I learned, but I was so busy trying to insult you.
[LAUGHTER]
I had no idea about the latex. I actually do eat a ton of bubble gum. It was really hard to not believe in bubble gum this whole time, especially since you were the one behind it. But I think you made me better, and now I learned about gummy bears because of you.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw.
JOY DOLO: I did really like the idea of how you had a best friend that was also made of gummy bears because I was like, it is community no matter which way you look at it. If you're giving out bubble gum or you're giving out candy, it's a nice way to make a friend. And you are my friend. And I also really liked all the facts about the Haribo.
[LAUGHTER]
It was so interesting, why his wife worked, why doesn't he have any friends?
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
JOY DOLO: I just have so many questions. No, but this has been really fun. I had a great time. And again, this is all out of fun. I love Alsa. We've known each other for a very long time, so.
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, it was a true delight. That is it for today's debate battle. Yaretzi crowned gummy Bears the Smash Boom Best, but what about you?
YARETZI: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios.
JOY DOLO: It's produced by Molly Bloom, Rose DuPont, Ruby Guthrie, and Aron Woldeslassie.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Derek Ramirez with sound design by Anna Weggel and Marc Sanchez.
ALSA BRUNO: Our editors are Shahla Farzan and Sanden Totten.
JOY DOLO: And we had production help from Anna Goldfield and Nico Gonzalez Wisler.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman. And the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati, Alex Schaffert and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. And we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman. Alsa, is there anyone you want to give a shout out to today?
ALSA BRUNO: Oh my gosh, I want to give a shout out to all of my nieces and my one nephew and my future nieces and nephews. Oh my gosh, and the nieces and nephews I didn't realize were my nieces and nephews.
[LAUGHTER]
Wow. All of you. There's so many people, I guess, now. I just want to thank everyone. I thank Yaretzi for this W. Ah. I thank my mom.
YARETZI: I'm expecting my $40.
[LAUGHTER]
JOY DOLO: I knew something happened when I went to the bathroom.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: And how about you, Joy? Any special shout outs?
JOY DOLO: Oh, you know I always want to thank Alsa's nieces and nephews as well. And, Yaretzi, it's been really great talking to you and chatting. It's been really fun. And everyone that listened to this because you're the reason the world goes around. And also, go out and make a friend and thank them.
MOLLY BLOOM: Aw, Joy. You are a Joy. And what about you, Yaretzi? Any special thanks?
YARETZI: Just thank you to you guys for having me here and thank you for listening to my sometimes funny, sometimes not funny jokes and laughing. That's the best part, laughing at my unfunny jokes. Thank you for that.
MOLLY BLOOM: I enjoyed all of your jokes.
JOY DOLO: You were great. You were so wonderful.
ALSA BRUNO: Yeah, you're amazing, Yaretzi.
YARETZI: Thank you.
MOLLY BLOOM: Before we go, let's check in with Lily and see who she thinks should win her Eiffel Tower versus White House debate.
LILY: I think the Eiffel Tower should win because it's in the city of love.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you have an idea for a knock-down-drag-out debate? Head to smashboom.org and tell us about it. We'll be back with a new debate battle next week. Ta-ta.
ALSA BRUNO: Deuces.
JOY DOLO: Blibber-Blubber
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Who put you through the test? Hoo, you're the Smash Boom Best. Oh, better than the rest. It's Smash Boom Best. It's Smash Boom Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's all for funsies.
JOY DOLO: Except when me and Alsa get to the parking lot after this then we'll see.
[LAUGHTER]
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