14 best Patrick Bateman quotes from American Psycho

Love him or loathe him, Patrick is one of literature's most intriguing characters ever written, with the American Psycho ending proving to be a difficult one to come to terms with.

Throughout the book and film, those who engage with Patrick are drawn into an intense battle between what is real and what is a construction of his imagination, with the sort-of serial killer often slipping into journalistic rants about the biggest music acts at the time.

A connoisseur of taste, deeply troubled and yet, inescapably likeable, Patrick is the king of memorable quotes as we join him on his personal odyssey and venture into insanity – and we've rounded up the very best from the film here.

Best Patrick Bateman quotes from American Psycho

Below is our list of the top 14 Patrick Bateman quotes from American Psycho. This just includes the film – the book contains many, many more fantastic Patrick Batemanisms. Trust us.

1. "There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me." - Early in the film, when Patrick introduces himself through his self-indulgent narration.
2. "You like Huey Lewis and the News?" - From one of the most iconic moments in the film where he is about to kill Paul Allen (Jared Leto) but first must go on one of his diatribes about music while donning a clear raincoat and axe.
3. "In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while I'm doing my stomach crunches – I can do a thousand now." - Patrick is best known for his over-exaggeration, with this brag no exception.
4. "I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturiser, then an anti-aging eye balm, followed by a final moisturising protective lotion." - Patrick describes his extensive skincare regime showcasing his dedication to his appearance.
5. "If you don't shut your f**king mouth, I will kill you." - Said while laughing.
6. "I'm trying to listen to my new Robert Palmer tape, but Evelyn (my supposed fiancée) keeps buzzing in my ear." - Said while in a taxi.
7. "Because I want to fit in." - Said in the taxi while listening to Simply Irresistible by Robert Palmer, encapsulating the theme of the film.
8. "I'm into murders and executions, mostly." - Said during a general conversation and more evidence of the duality of Patrick as he's misunderstood to have said "mergers and acquisitions".
9. "Not if you want to keep your spleen." - Said during a dinner with Paul to a waiter.
10. "Oh my God. It even has a watermark." - Said during the iconic business card scene in which Patrick compares his business cards with his colleagues and though they look very similar, he can spot the subtle differences.
11. "I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?" - Said during a dinner in his classically casual way.
12. "Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you stupid f**king b*****d!" - Said while murdering Allen.
13. "I have to return some video tapes." - Patrick often discusses his video tapes to avoid difficult situations/conversations. It was parodied by Pokémon. You read that correctly.
14. "I just had to kill a lot of people and I'm not sure I'm going to get away with it this time... I guess I'm a pretty sick guy." - Said during the final scenes of the film as Patrick descends into madness and calls his lawyer to confess his crimes/imaginary crimes.

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