Conspiracy therapy: black helicopters

A Black Hawk helicopter in stealth mode with its rotors switched off to reduce carbon emissions....
A Black Hawk helicopter in stealth mode with its rotors switched off to reduce carbon emissions. PHOTO: US ARMY
Leonardo da Vinci drew his "aerial screw" design, a sort of upside-down post-hole digger, about 1487 AD.

It did not augur well for his machine. Its solid oak frame and slave-driven rotor played havoc with the power-to-weight ratio.

It did not take long for rumours to emerge they were being put to sinister use and attacking our freedoms.

Terrible stuff like enforcing endangered species protection laws — it is absolutely true that this is a rumour, and who can think of a more evil purpose than this? Apart from taking over the US with UN-led martial law or doing weird stuff to farm livestock.

John of Patmos, the writer of the Book of Revelation, warned of helicopters, but as they had not been invented yet, he called them locusts. Or he could have been warning us about locusts.

Helicopters of other colours often look black against a pale sky. Black things are scary. Helicopters look weird in photos with a high shutter speed because it looks as if the rotor is switched off, and the chopper is about to crash. "Chopper" is not a very nice word. Helicopters generate 92kg of CO2 per passenger per hour. Now that is scary.

On the other hand, the Otago Regional Rescue Helicopter is painted black, and it is lovely.

Conspiracy: Black helicopters are floating about to do annoying anti-freedom stuff.

Disputed event: Igor Sikorski’s R-4 was the first mass-produced helicopter. It looked black in black-and-white photos of the time.

First allegations: Black helicopter rumours began circulating in the US in the 1960s. The related "Phantom helicopters" emerged in Britain in the mid-1970s.

And they would have gotten away with it too: ...  if they had simply painted them another colour.