Are you an agreeable sort of person?

Do you try your best to get along with other people?

Do you listen to their views and opinions and try and understand them. You sometimes disagree, but say nothing in order to keep the peace.

In every day language the word agreeable is generally used as a description of how nice a person is. However, to a psychologist, it has a more precise meaning. 

Agreeableness is a personality factor and means your general tendency to agree or disagree with other people. Agreeable people will usually go along with what others are saying and try to fit in. This is why agreeable people are usually thought of as being 'nice' people.  Disagreeable people, on the other hand, are far more likely to disagree with you.

Agreeableness is one of the ‘big five’ dimensions that go to make up your personality - along with Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion and Neuroticism. Your personality is made up of a combination of these five personality factors.  Each is on a continuum from low to high. 

For example, the screen persona of Woody Allen is high on Openness (he is open to new ideas), high on Conscientiousness (he works hard), low on  Extraversion (prefers being alone), average on Agreeableness (gets along with people but can disagree with people) and high on Neuroticism (a high capacity for negative emotion like anxiety).

So is it good to have a personality high on Agreeableness, or is it bad to be a Disagreeable person?

People whose personalities are high on Agreeableness are often uncritical of other’s opinions when criticism is what’s needed.  The problem is that if you are too agreeable, you will get pushed around or over-influenced by people who are low on Agreeableness.

People low on Agreeableness have strong opinions and can be rigid in their views (perhaps you know someone like this).  They also tend to be forceful in expressing their opinions.  If an agreeable person gets into an argument with a Disagreeable person, the Agreeable person will lose every time.

Does this mean it’s bad to be Disagreeable? 

No, because Disagreeable people are the independent thinkers of the world, who stand by their opinions and decisions and are not easily discouraged. 

This concept of Agreeableness as a personality factor is a really useful thing to know because once you know where you are on the Agreeableness - Disagreeableness spectrum, you can choose to be flexible in adjusting your manner to suit the situation you find yourself in.  

For example, if you tend to be an Agreeable person, and you want something or need to make a decision that is important to you, you may need to adjust, and increase your own Disagreeableness.

If you need to complain you might say to yourself,  “I’m a pretty Agreeable person normally, but that’s not going to help me in this situation so I will make a conscious effort to be firmer in what I say.”  

If on the other hand, you are at the Disagreeable end of the spectrum, and you are seeking the views of colleagues, you might want to be mindful of this, and make a real effort to listen more, while encouraging the other person to explain their point of view.

Finally, if you are an Agreeable sort of person, that’s great; but, don’t let this define you. Try to think of yourself as being Agreeable, with the flexibility to be Disagreeable should a situation demand it. 

If you are interested in finding out how agreeable (or not) you are – get in touch.  What I can offer is a psychometric assessment of your personality using the NEO Personality Inventory, which is a comprehensive measure of the Five Factor Model of personality.   This will include a coaching session to help you apply this knowledge in your work and day to day life.