Why we should be talking about introversion and mental health

Introversion isn’t a mental health condition. It’s an innate temperament that can be influenced by environmental factors and it’s also a spectrum. Introverts tend to have a preference for calm, minimally-stimulating environments, and recharge through alone time, but where they are on the spectrum can change, and will be different for each individual.

It’s a common misconception that all introverts are shy and anxious: this isn’t true. ALL personality types can be shy, anxious - or both. 

However, introverts are more likely to dwell in their own inner worlds and this means they are also more prone to experiencing mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression.

Anxiety and depression are more common amongst introverts

A number of studies, spanning the last two decades, have shown correlation between introversion and mental health, for example Dr Hanowsky’s 2001 study Introversion and extroversion: Implications for depression and suicidality and the work of clinical psychologist, Laurie Helgow, which identified that anxiety is more common amongst introverts than extroverts. The cause of this link remains unclear but it does mean there are wider implications. 

Just as DEI is starting to recognise the complexities of prejudice and privilege via the framework of intersectionality, could it be also true that just by existing in a society where the bias is in favour of people who don’t think like you means you are therefore more likely to suffer from mental health problems?

This is a thought I have been pondering recently.

As introverts, we are often forced to pretend to be someone other than our true selves - appear more extroverted - to be able to progress in our careers, and even just to ‘fit in’ at social events. Most introverts have been told they’re ‘too quiet’, sometimes on a regular basis, and a significant percentage won’t even openly admit to being introverted because they fear doing so will mean negative judgement.

But if you can’t show up as your authentic self, what is the cost?

If you’re having to exist daily in a society that is over-stimulating, what is the cost?

If you’re constantly having to act in a way that depletes your energy, what is the cost?

Mental Health Awareness is Important

10th October is World Mental Health Day, and so a perfect opportunity to increase awareness; it’s definitely still needed. One in four of us will experience mental health problems and, in a post-pandemic world, more of us than ever before are struggling with burnout and our mental wellbeing. Add to this a statistical likelihood to experience mental health issues and discussions need to be had.

The secretly anxious introvert

The thing with mental health is it’s not visible; it’s an invisible illness. This means even the most caring of people often don’t recognise the impact of suffering from a mental health issue. 

I’ve lived with a severe anxiety disorder (including social anxiety) for most of my life (I’ve also experienced depression and PTSD). Yet I’m what’s considered as ‘high-functioning’ - which means most people have no idea that I am ill, or battle my own mind daily, unless I choose to disclose the fact (or on the rare occasion that I have a very public panic attack).

Some of the signs of high-functioning anxiety, according to Psychology Today, are:

1. Perfectionism
2. Always being prepared
3. Constantly feeling the need to be doing something
4. Being tired all the time
5. Startling easily
6. Having aches, repetitive habits and ticks
7. Sticking to routines, or sources of comfort
8. Negative self-talk, rumination and overthinking
9. You overgeneralise emotional experiences, even if they aren’t threatening

10. Being outwardly successful

Who else can get that t-shirt? I know I can’t be alone in scoring a perfect 10.

I generally manage my mental health very well - it is, however, why I’ve been working part-time and why I went freelance, then solopreneur. Because working part-time for full-time income is, for me, the only way I can survive. I very quickly burn out in full-time, normal, working environments and my physical and mental health rapidly decline, so I had to find another way.

However, this hasn’t been a magic fix. I still have episodes where my mental health is very poor and it becomes almost impossible to leave my sofa, let alone flat. I’ve had times where I’ve not left my bed except to deliver virtual facilitation, only to return to my bed straight after (no, I don't know how I've still been able to facilitate at those times, either. Anxiety sometimes defies logical sense. But many of you reading this may well have attended my training on one of these times). At these times, even ‘normal’, everyday, life tasks, like showering and tidying, become virtually impossible.

Yet the vast majority of people, especially in workplaces, don’t handle it well. I’ve been disciplined for not appearing happy/ contributing in meetings (a combination of both my introversion and mental issues at play) and watched colleagues having a minor operation receive gifts and messages of support whilst I receive only criticism - and that’s even when I am hitting, or exceeding, every target for that role. I am, after all, an overachiever.

I’ve also lost friends, as recently as this year, because sometimes when I am in a dark place I can’t be the person they would want me to be.

This is why mental health is a subject I am passionate about talking about; the more we talk about it the more we can raise understanding and, hopefully empathy. And with empathy maybe, just maybe, we can enact change.

Surviving anxiety as an introvert

If you’re a fellow anxious introvert reading this, here are some strategies that can help:

1. Recognise that you’re not alone. I know it can feel like the loneliest thing in the world at times, to think so differently - and sometimes you also end up physically isolated - but I promise you there are others going through it too and we understand. DM me anytime.
2. Be your own best friend - this has taken me years, and I’m still a work in progress, but give yourself permission to say no to things that are going to deplete, or trigger, you and to forgive yourself. Treat yourself like you would a good friend.
3. Listen to your body - what’s worked for me when I am super anxious or low is making myself into a blanket burrito, reading or watching something that will make me smile and eating the foods my body tells me it wants.
4. Get into nature - moving your body helps, but so does being surrounded by the natural world and feeling sunshine on your skin. 
5. Bounce! Yes, really, @annatheanxietycoach suggests bouncing on the balls of your feet on the spot to release anxiety. Try it!
6. Challenge intrusive thoughts: are they helpful? Are they true? CBT techniques can be helpful here as they force you to find evidence for/ against what you’re thinking. Setting a time to worry can be helpful for lots of people (my mind rebels 😅).
7. Talk to someone you trust. Sometimes saying things aloud can be helpful.
8. Take action! Just as with building confidence, taking action can help you manage anxiety. Start small - baby steps - but have that conversation. Do that thing. And, over time, it will become easier.
9. Breathe! Our breathing speeds up when we’re anxious, so breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four and breathe out for a count of four.
10. Use your senses: if you’re in a high state of anxiety it can be helpful to focus on an object and describe to yourself what you can see/ hear/ smell/ taste/ touch.

If you're a friend, family member, manager, or colleague, of an introvert please hold space for them. Seek to understand, rather than judge and, just like anything else, recognise that we are all individuals and so the best way to support those individual needs is to get curious and ask, "What do you need?' That doesn't just stand for mental health, but it includes it.

We have a long way to go, but together we can get there.

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About Me

I help introverts develop authentic confidence, through coaching, training and digital products, so that they can thrive without having to change who they are, and companies to address the workplace bias towards extroversion, through training, coaching and consultancy.

Through developing my own authentic confidence I have been able to build a life on my terms, working part-time for full-time income, travel solo around the world, work with companies like Google and speak, with confidence, to entire auditoriums. I've already helped thousands of individuals, across 169 countries globally, to develop confidence and communication skills, as well as manage Imposter Syndrome and limiting beliefs. Helping others feel enough is my passion.

If you are an introvert looking to feel more confident, set boundaries to help you balance your time and be able to understand, and communicate, a leader looking to better support your introverted talent, or a company committed to achieving intersectional equity and inclusion, DM me or visit my website, to find out more about how I can help you.

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