In & Out (1997)

Kevin Kline: Howard Brackett

Photos 

25 more photos

Quotes 

• [while listening to the "How to Be a Man" tape] 

  Voice on tape : Repeat after me: Yo!

  Howard Brackett : Yo!

  Voice on tape : Hot damn!

  Howard Brackett : Hot damn!

  Voice on tape : What a fabulous window treatment!

  Howard Brackett : What a fabu...

  Voice on tape : That was a trick!

• Emily : Are you... are... are you really gay?

  Howard : Mmm-hmm.

  Emily : Was there, oh, ANY OTHER TIME YOU MIGHT HAVE TOLD ME THIS? I'm wearing a wedding dress, which you picked out! I highlighted my hair because you said I needed shimmer, I loved you and I believed you and pretended not to notice the Streisand thing. I thought you were just creative, I thought you were just smarter than me and more sensitive and more interesting. I thought you were the most wonderful man who ever lived. I... I thought you could just change my life and... and show me the whole world, and teach me about art and life and magic. I thought you could make me feel like a beautiful woman... instead of the girl nobody wanted.

• Emily : [yelling to the congregation]  Does anybody here know how many times I had to watch "Funny Lady"?

  Howard : It was a sequel. She was under contract.

  Emily : [loud and angry]  Fuck Barbra Streisand, and you!

  [she wallops him across the mouth.] 

• Howard : [at confession, about "a friend"]  He's just never had a physical relationship with her.

  Father Tim : Never? In three years?

  Howard : He respects her.

  Father Tim : He's gay!

• Peter Malloy : One day, I just snapped. I just got tired of switching pronouns and remembering to lower my voice, and I couldn't take lying to the people I love. Does that sound familiar?

  Howard Brackett : [lowered voice]  No.

  Peter Malloy : So I just said, "Mom, Dad, Sparky, I'm gay."

  Howard Brackett : What happened?

  Peter Malloy : Well, my mom cried for exactly 10 seconds, my boss said, "Who cares?", and my dad said, "But you're so tall!"

• Peter : What was Streisand's eighth album?

  Howard : "Color Me Barbra".

  Peter : [smirks]  Stud.

  Howard : Everyone knows that!

  Peter : Everyone where? The Little Gay Bar on the Prairie?

• Howard Brackett : Here, I'll give you your headline! Howard Brackett is a big homo-queer-Mary-sissy man. He just came out at his big church wedding. Martha Stewart is fourious!

• Howard Brackett : I just came out! At my wedding!

• Howard Brackett : Tom, do I look like a homosexual?

  Tom Halliwell : Would you walk for me?

• Peter Malloy : Look, everyone wants to talk to Diane Sawyer or Joan Lunden, and my network's killing me. They want me blond!

  Howard : With your coloring?

• [at confession] 

  Father Tim : Are you Catholic?

  Howard : I have a friend who is... and he's very busy.

• Howard Brackett : This is my Peter--uh, my *friend* Peter. We just met at the, uh, intersexual... homosection... INTERSECTION!

• Howard : He may be under the influence of something. He may have joined a cult!

  Frank Brackett : That little zombie.

• Peter : I'm gay, I came out.

  Howard Brackett : To whom?

  Peter : Who? To everyone. My folks, my boss... my dog.

• Howard : [entering his classroom, flustered]  Class: so, uh, where were we? Romantic poetry. Shakespeare. Talented. English. Dead.

• Howard : I'm a horrible person. You have every right to hate me. You should hate me. I want you to hate me! I insist that you hate me! I'm scum, I'm garbage, I'm vermin, an-an-and I'm sorry.

• Howard Brackett : I may sue!

  Frank Brackett : Get Johnnie Cochran, not that woman!

• Howard : [reading to the class, from a book of poetry]  And sunlight clasped the earth, and the moonbeams kissed the sea. What are all these kissings worth, if thou kiss not me?

  Howard : That's it.

  [Class laughs]