“Can we just talk about plastic surgery for a second?” Megan Fox asked Call Her Daddy host Alex Cooper on the latest episode of the podcast, published Wednesday. “I’m just going to go through all the things that I’ve done. I feel like there’s this stigma. I’m not going to win. I’m going to do this, I’m not going to win. However, I’m hoping it sets some people free.”
The 37-year-old actor, who said in an interview last year that she has “never, ever” loved her body, candidly discussed going under the knife, listing out the cosmetic procedures that she has and hasn’t done, what she would love to do in the future, and how a bygone era and the ultimate Harry Potter villain have inspired her beauty goals.
First off: Breast augmentation, which Megan initially underwent when she was “21 or 22,” between the first and second Transformers movies.
The world according to Megan Fox.
“I don’t want to wake up with a full B-cup,” she said. “There’s no fucking point in that.”
“I had them redone after I was done breastfeeding my kids, because I don’t know where they went, but they went, and then I had to have them redone very recently because the first set I didn’t have enough body fat to disguise,” she said. “You could see the rippling of the implant, so I had to switch them out to this set.”
She presented very specific inspiration to her doctors: “I said, ‘I don’t care what is on trend, I want 1990s stripper titties, that’s what I want,’ and he did it.”
She also had rhinoplasty in her early twenties, she said.
“That’s something I’ve literally been accused of having like six, seven, eight rhinoplasty surgeries, which is impossible, your nose would get necrosis and fall off,” Megan said. “I haven’t had a rhinoplasty since I was, I’m gonna say 23. It’s been well over a decade, I haven’t touched my nose since then.”
The constant speculation about her nose, she said, likely comes from the fact that she contours it with makeup to “make it like a little elven princess, I make it so small, within an inch of its life.”
The wand chooses the wizard, but the Megan chooses the bronzer: “I like to contour it down until it’s just nostrils like Voldemort, just two holes here.”
Apart from those two key parts and another surgery that “I’m gatekeeping, because, sorry. It was really good. It’s not a known plastic surgery, people don’t really know about it,” Megan said that she’s employed Botox, fillers, and “lasers and stuff like that, I’ve done everything you could possibly do and I always will.”
They're dripping in silver.
“It’s actually not that much. In terms of surgery, it’s not that much,” she said.
“Any surgery is a risk to your life, I don’t care what anyone says,” Megan said, explaining the conservative number, by her own measure, of procedures she’s had. For some, awareness of that risk might mean strictly following the no food or drink guidelines before going under, but Megan’s concerns and fail-safes are somewhat different.
She said that anaesthesia hits her hard. For some people, nausea, sure. For Megan: “My soul’s, like, fighting on the surgical table to wake up, it’s a very traumatising experience for me,” she said.
This leads to a very specific set of pre-op agreements with her medical team, she said.
“All my doctors have to meet with me before and have to tell me if they’ve seen any omens,” she said. “If they saw any owls, crows, if anyone stepped on a spider, if there were any dead insects. My doctors have to go through this with me because I’m very afraid of dying under general anaesthesia, so I don’t take surgery lightly and therefore I have not had many of them because of that.”
And the doctors are cool with that?
“They love me," she said.
Another of her “protocols” includes reminding the surgeons to vet their playlists for any songs that might remind them of an ex “or anything that’s going to make you upset.” Further: “If you have a fight with your wife, do not come in for surgery.”
But the trench is a classic.
Megan didn’t rule out future cosmetic tweaks, noting that while she's never had a facelift “of any kind,” she said she "would like one.” She hasn’t done threads, partly because “I worry that they would interfere when I do need a facelift.” Buccal fat removal and liposuction are also on the no list: “I will never have fat removed,” she said. “I will only be putting fat in, I will never be taking fat out.”
On that note, she said that she would get the mother of all Brazilian Butt Lifts “when in the future you can take donated fat from people.”
“I would get it done if I could,” she said, dreamily saying that she yearns for “an ass that’s, like, an anomaly.”
“I’m not coming out with, oh, has she been hitting the gym lately, extra squats? No,” she said. “I want it to be massive.”
This article originally appeared in Vanity Fair.
