Friendship with God

Random House Large Print Publishing

Introduction

Try telling someone that you've just had a conversation with God and see whathappens.

Never mind. I can tell you what happens.

Your whole life changes.

First, because you've had the conversation, second, because you've told someoneabout it.

To be fair, I should say that I did more than have a conversation. I've had asix-year dialogue. And I did more than "tell" someone. I kept a written recordof what was said and sent it to a publisher.

Things have been very interesting ever since. And a little surprising.

The first surprise was that the publisher actually read the material and evenmade it into a book. The second surprise was that people actually bought thebook, and even recommended it to their friends. The third surprise is that theirfriends recommended it to their friends, and even made it into a bestseller. Thefourth surprise is that it is now sold in twenty-seven countries. The fifthsurprise is that any of this was surprising, given who the coauthor was.

When God tells you He's going to do something, you can count on it. God alwaysgets Her way.

God told me, in the middle of what I thought was a private dialogue, that "thiswill one day become a book." I didn't believe Him. Of course, I haven't believedtwo-thirds of what God has been telling me since the day I was born. That's beenthe problem. Not just with me, but with the whole human race.

If we would just listen ...

The book that was published was called, unoriginally enough, Conversations withGod. Now you may not believe that I've had such a conversation, and I have noneed for you to believe it. It doesn't change the fact that I did. It simplymakes it easier, if you choose to do so, to dismiss out of hand what I was toldin that conversation?which some people have done. On the other hand, there havebeen many people who have not only agreed that such a conversation is possible,but have also made communicating with God a regular part of their own lives. Notjust one-way communicating, but communicating two ways. Those people havelearned to be careful about who is told of this, however. It turns out that whenpeople say they talk to God every day, they're called devout, but when peoplesay that God talks to them every day, they're called crazy.

In my case, that's perfectly okay. As I've said, I have no need for anyone tobelieve anything that I say. In fact, I'd rather that people listen to their ownhearts, find their own truths, seek their own counsel, access their own wisdom,and, if they wish, have their own conversations with God.

If something I say leads them to do that?causes them to question how they'vebeen living, and what they've believed in the past, brings them to a place oflarger exploration of their own experience, moves them to make a deepercommitment to their own truth?then the sharing of my experience will have beena pretty good idea.

I think this was the idea all along. In fact, I'm convinced of it. That's whyConversations with God became a bestseller, as did books 2 and 3, whichfollowed. And I think the book you are now reading has found its way into yourhands to once again cause you to wonder, to explore, and to search for your owntruth?but this time on an even larger topic: Is it possible to have more than aconversation with God? Is it possible that you can have an actual friendshipwith God?

This book says yes, and it tells you how. In God's own words. For in this book,happily, our dialogue continues, taking us to new places, and powerfullyreiterating some of what has been told to me earlier.

I am learning that this is how my conversations with God proceed. They arecircular, reviewing what has already been given, then dazzlingly spiraling intonew territory. This two-steps-forward, one-step-back approach allows me to keepin mind previously shared wisdom, planting it firmly in my consciousness inorder to form a solid basis for further understanding.

That is the process here. It is not without design. And while at first thisprocess is a bit frustrating, I have come to deeply appreciate its workings. Forby planting God's wisdom firmly into our consciousness, we affect ourconsciousness. We awaken it. We elevate it. And as we do so, we understand more;we come to remember more of Who We Really Are, and we begin to demonstrate that.

In these pages I am going to share a little about my past, and about how my lifehas changed since the publication of the Conversations with God trilogy. A lotof folks have asked me about all that, and that's understandable. They want toknow something about this person who says he's having casual chats with the OneUpstairs. Yet that's not why I'm including these anecdotes. Snippets of my"personal story" are part of this book not to satisfy people's curiosity, but toshow how my life demonstrates what it's like to have a friendship with God?andhow all of our lives demonstrate the same thing.

That's the message, of course. All of us have a friendship with God, whether weknow it or not.

I was one of those who didn't know. Nor did I know where that friendship couldtake me. That is the great surprise here; that is the wonder. Not so much thatwe can and do have a friendship with God, but what that friendship was designedto bring us?and where it can take us.

We are on a journey here. There is a purpose for this friendship we're beinginvited to develop, a reason for its being. Until recently, I did not know thereason. I was not remembering. Now that I am, I no longer fear God, and that haschanged my life.

On these pages (and in my life) I still ask plenty of questions. But now I alsoprovide answers. That's the difference here. That's the change. I am nowspeaking with God, not merely to God. I am walking alongside God, not simplyfollowing God.

It is my deepest wish that your life will be changed in the same way as mine;that you, too, with the help and guidance of this book, will develop a very realfriendship with God, and that as a result, you also will speak your word andlive your life with a new authority.

It is my hope that you will no longer be a seeker, but a bringer, of the Light.For what you bring is what you will find.

God, it seems, is not looking for followers so much as leaders. We can followGod, or we can lead others to God. The first course will change us, the secondcourse will change the world.

? Neale Donald Walsch
Ashland, Oregon
July 1999

Chapter One

I remember exactly when I decided I should be afraid of God. It was when He saidthat my mother was going to hell.

Okay, He didn't say it, exactly, but somebody said it on His behalf.

I was about six years old, and my mother, who considered herself somewhat of amystic, was "reading the cards" at our kitchen table for a friend. People cameto the house all the time to see what sort of divinations my mother couldextract from an ordinary deck of playing cards. She was good at it, they said,and word of her abilities quietly spread.

As Mom was reading the cards on this particular day, her sister paid a surprisevisit. I remember that my aunt was not very happy with the scene that sheencountered, when, knocking once, she came bursting in through the back screendoor. Mom acted as if she'd been caught red-handed doing something she wasn'tsupposed to be doing. She made an awkward introduction of her lady friend andgathered up the cards quickly, stuffing them into her apron pocket.

Nothing was said about it in that moment, but later my aunt came to say good-byein the backyard, where I had gone to play.

"You know," she said as I walked with her to her car, "your mom shouldn't betelling people their future with that deck of hers. God is going to punish her."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because she is trafficking with the devil"?I remember that shivering phrasebecause of its peculiar sound to my ear-"and God will send her to straight tohell." She said this as blithely as if she were announcing that it was going torain tomorrow. To this day I remember quaking with fear as she backed out of thedriveway. I was scared to death that my mom had angered God so badly. Then andthere the fear of God was deeply embedded inside me.

How could God, who is supposed to be the most benevolent creator in theuniverse, want to punish my mother, who was the most benevolent creature in mylife, with everlasting damnation? This, my six-year-old mind begged to know. Andso I came to a six-year-old's conclusion: if God was cruel enough to dosomething like that to my mother, who, in the eyes of everyone who knew her, waspractically a saint, then it must be very easy to make Him mad?easier than myfather?so we had all better mind our p's and q's.

I was scared of God for many years, because my fear was continually reinforced.

I remember being told in second-grade Catechism that unless a baby was baptized,it would not go to heaven. This seemed so improbable, even to second-graders,that we used to try to trip up the nun by asking pin-her-in-the-corner questionslike, sister, Sister, what if the parents are actually taking the baby to bebaptized, and the whole family dies in a terrible car crash? Wouldn't that babyget to go with her parents to heaven?"

Our nun must have come from the Old School. no," she sighed heavily, I'm afraidnot." For her, doctrine was doctrine, there were no exceptions.

"But where would the baby go?" one of my schoolmates asked earnestly. to hell orto purgatory?" (In good Catholic households, nine is old enough to know exactlywhat hell" is.)

"The baby would go neither to hell nor purgatory," Sister told us. the babywould go to limbo."

Limbo?

Limbo, Sister explained, was where God sent babies and other people who, throughno fault of their own, died without being baptized into the one true faith. Theyweren't being punished, exactly, but they would never get to see God.

This is the God I grew up with. You may think I'm making this all up, but I'mnot.

Fear of God is created by many religions and is, in fact, encouraged by manyreligions.

No one had to encourage me, I'll tell you that. If you thought I was frightenedby the limbo thing, wait until you hear about the End of the World thing.

Somewhere in the early fifties I heard the story of the children of Fatima. Thisis a village in central Portugal, north of Lisbon, where the Blessed Virgin wassaid to have appeared on repeated occasions to a young girl and her two cousins.Here's what I was told about that:

The Blessed Virgin gave the children a Letter to the World, which was to be handdelivered to the Pope. He, in turn, was to open it and read its contents, butthen reseal the letter, revealing its message to the public years later, ifnecessary.

The Pope was said to have cried for three days after reading this letter, whichwas said to contain terrible news of God's deep disappointment in us, anddetails of how He was going to have to punish the world if we didn't heed thisfinal warning and change our ways. It would be the end of the world, and therewould be moaning and gnashing of teeth and unbelievable torment.

God, we were told in catechism, was angry enough to inflict the punishment rightthen and there, but was having mercy on us and giving us this one last chance,because of the intercession of the Holy Mother.

The story of Our Lady of Fatima filled my heart with terror. I ran home to askmy mother if it was true. Mom said that if the priests and nuns were telling usthis, it must be so. Nervous and anxious, the kids in our class pelted Sisterwith questions about what we could do

"Go to Mass every day," she advised. say your rosary nightly and do the Stationsof the Cross often. Go to confession once a week. Do penance, and offer yoursuffering up to God as evidence that you have turned from sin. Receive HolyCommunion. And say a Perfect Act of Contrition before going to sleep each night,so that if you are taken before you wake, you'll be worthy of joining the saintsin heaven."

Actually, it never occurred to me that I might not live 'til morning until I wastaught the childhood prayer ...

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
And if I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

A few weeks of that and I was afraid to go to bed. I cried every night, andnobody could figure out what was wrong. To this day, I have a fixation withsudden death. Often when I leave the house for a flight out of town?orsometimes when I go to the grocery store?I'll say to my wife Nancy, if I don'tcome back, remember that the last words I said to you were ÔI love you.'" It'sbecome a running joke, but there's a tiny piece of me that's dead serious.

My next brush with the fear of God came when I was thirteen. My childhoodbabysitter, Frankie Schultz, who lived across the street from us, was gettingmarried. And he invited me?me?to be an usher in his wedding party! Whoa, was Iproud. Until I got to school and told the nun.

"Where is the wedding taking place?" she asked suspiciously.

I gave her the name of the place.

Her voice turned to ice. that's a Lutheran church, isn't it?"

"Well, I don't know. I didn't ask. I guess I ..."

"It is a Lutheran church, and you are not to go."

"How come?" I asked.

You are forbidden" she declared, and something felt very final about that.

"But why?" I persisted nonetheless.

Sister looked at me as if she couldn't believe I was questioning her further.Then, clearly pulling from some deep inner source of infinite patience, sheblinked twice and smiled.

"God does not want you in a heathen church, my child," the nun explained. thepeople who go there do not believe as we believe. They do not teach the truth.It is a sin to attend church anywhere other than a Catholic church. I'm sorrythat your friend Frankie has chosen to be married there. God will not consecratethe marriage."

"Sister," I pressed, way, way past the toleration point, what if I usher at thewedding anyway?"

"Well, then," she said with genuine concern, woe be unto you."

Whew. Heavy stuff. God was one tough hombre. There would no stepping out of linehere.

Well, I stepped out of line. I wish I could report that I based my protest onhigher moral grounds, but the truth is I couldn't stand the thought of notgetting to wear my white sport coat (with a pink carnation?just like Pat Boonewas singing about!). I decided not to tell anyone what the nun had said, and Iwent to that wedding as an usher. Boy, was I scared! You may think I'mexaggerating, but all day long I actually waited for God to strike me down. Andduring the ceremony I remained watchful for the Lutheran lies that I had beenwarned about, but all that the minister said were warm and wonderful things thatmade everyone in the church cry. Still, by the end of the service I was soppingwet.

That night I begged God on hands and knees to forgive me my transgression. Isaid the most Perfect Act of Contrition you've ever heard. (O my God, I amheartily sorry for having offended Thee....) I lay in bed for hours, afraid tofall asleep, repeating over and over again, and if I die before I wake, I praythe Lord my soul to take ...

Now, I've told you these childhood stories?and I could tell you many more?fora reason. I want to impress on you how real my fear of God was. Because my storyis not unique.

And, as I've said, it isn't just Roman Catholics who stand in frightened posebefore the Lord. Far from it. Half the world's people believe God is going toget them" if they are not good. Fundamentalists of many religions strike fearinto the hearts of their followers. You can't do this. Don't do that. Stop it,or God will punish you. And we're not talking about major prohibitions here,like Thou Shalt Not Kill. We're talking about God being upset if you eat meat onFriday (he's changed His mind on that, though), or pork any day of the week, orget a divorce. This is a God you will anger by failing to cover your female facewith a veil, by not visiting Mecca in your lifetime, by failing to stop allactivities, roll out your carpet, and prostrate yourself five times a day, bynot marrying in the temple, by failing to go to confession or attending churchevery Sunday, whatever.

We have to be careful with God. The only problem is that it's hard to know therules, because there are so many. And the most difficult thing is thateveryone's rules are right. Or so they say. Yet they can't all be right. So howto choose, how to know? It's a nagging question, and not an unimportant one,given God's apparently small margin for error here.

Now along comes a book called Friendship with God. What can this mean? How canit be? Is it possible that God is not the Holy Desperado after all? Could it bethat unbaptized babies do go to heaven? That wearing a veil or bowing to theEast, remaining celibate or abstaining from pork have nothing to do withanything? That Allah loves us without condition? That Jehovah will select all ofus to be with Him when the days of glory are at hand?

More fundamentally earthshaking, is it possible that we shouldn't be referringto God as him" at all? Could God be a woman? Or, even more unbelievably, withoutgender?

For a person raised as I was, even thinking such thoughts can be considered asin.

Yet we have to think them. We have to challenge them. Our blind faith has led usdown a blind alley. The human race has not progressed very far in the past twothousand years in terms of its spiritual evolution. We've heard teacher afterteacher, master after master, lesson after lesson, and we're still exhibitingthe same behaviors that have produced misery for our species since the beginningof time.

We're still killing our own kind, running our world on power and greed, sexuallyrepressing our society, mistreating and mal-educating our children, ignoringsuffering, and, indeed, creating it.

It has been two thousand years since the birth of Christ, twenty-five hundredsince the time of the Buddha, and more since we first heard the words ofConfucius, or the wisdom of the Tao, and we still haven't gotten the MainQuestions figured out. Will there ever be a way to turn the answers we havealready received into something workable, something that can function in ourday-to-day lives?

I think there is. And I feel pretty certain about it, because I've discussed ita lot in my conversations with God.

Chapter Two

The question I have been most frequently asked is: how do you know you've reallybeen talking to God? How do you know it's not your imagination? Or, worse yet,the devil, trying to trick you?

The second-most asked question: Why you? Why did God pick you?

And the third: what's life been like since all this happened? How have thingschanged?

You would think that the most frequently asked questions would have to do withGod's words, with the extraordinary insights and the breathtaking revelationsand the challenging constructs of our dialogue?and there have been many ofthose inquiries, to be sure?but the most frequently asked questions have had todo with the human side of this story.

In the end, what we all want to know about is each other. We have an insatiablecuriosity about our fellow human beings, more than just about anything else inthe world. It's as if we somehow know that if we can learn more about oneanother, we can learn more about ourselves. And the yearning to know more aboutourselves?about Who We Really are?is the deepest yearning of all.

And so we ask more questions about each other's experiences than about eachother's understandings. What was that like for you? How do you know that's true?What are you thinking right now? Why do you do those things? How come you feelthat way?

We're constantly trying to get into each other's skin. There's an internalguidance system that directs us intuitively and compellingly toward each other.I believe that there is a natural mechanism, at the level of our genetic code,which contains universal intelligence. This intelligence informs our most basicresponses as sentient beings. It takes eternal wisdom to the cellular level,creating what some have called the Law of Attraction.

I believe we are attracted to each other inherently, out of a deep knowing thatin each other we will find our Selves. We may not be aware of this consciously,we may not articulate this specifically, but I think we understand thiscellularly. And I believe that this microcosmic understanding derives from amacrocosmic one. I believe we know at the highest level that We Are All One.

It is this supreme awareness that pulls us toward each other, and it is theignoring of it that creates the deepest loneliness of the human heart, and everymisery of the human condition.

This is what my conversation with God has shown me: that every sadness of thehuman heart, every indignity of the human condition, every tragedy of the humanexperience, can be attributed to one human decision?the decision to withdrawfrom each other. The decision to ignore our supreme awareness. The decision tocall the natural attraction that we have for each other bad," and our Oneness afiction.

In this we have denied our True Selves. And it is from this self-denial that allour negativity has sprung. All of our rage, all of our disappointment, all ofour bitterness has found its birth in the death of our greatest joy. The joy ofbeing One.

And the conflict of the human encounter is that even as we seek at the cellularlevel to experience our Oneness, we insist at the mental level on denying it.Thus, our thoughts about life and how it is are out of alignment with ourdeepest inner knowing. In essence, we are acting every day against ourinstincts. And this has led to our present madness, in which we persist inacting out the insanity of separateness, all the while yearning to know the joyof Oneness once again.

Can the conflict ever be resolved? Yes. It will end when we resolve our conflictwith God. And that is the reason for this book.

This is a book I had no idea I was going to write. Like Conversations with God,it was given to me to share. I thought that when the CWG trilogy was finished,so, too, would be my career" as an author by accident." Then I sat down to writethe Acknowledgments Page for the Guidebook to book 1, and I had what felt to melike a mystical experience.

I'm telling you what happened then so that you can better understand why thisbook is being written now. When they heard that I was writing this book, somepeople said to me, I thought there was only supposed to be a trilogy?" It was asif producing more material somehow violated the integrity of the originalprocess. So I want you to know how this book happened; how it became clear to methat I had to write it?even though now, as I sit here, I have no idea whereit's going, or what it has to say.

It was spring 1997, and I had completed work on the Guidebook. I was nervouslyawaiting reaction from my publisher, Hampton Roads. Finally, the call came.

"Hey, Neale, great book!" Bob Friedman said.

"You mean it? You're not kidding?" there's always a part of me that can'tbelieve the best and is expecting to hear the worst. So I was ready for him tosay, I'm sorry. We can't accept this. You'll have to do a complete rewrite."

"Of course I mean it," Bob chuckled. why would I lie to you about a thing likethat? You think I want to publish a bad book?"

"Well, I just thought you might be trying to make me feel good."

"Trust me, Neale. I'm not going to try to make you feel good by telling youyou've got a great book if what you've got is a stinker.

"Okay," I said warily.

Bob chuckled again. "Man, you authors are the most insecure people I know. Youcan't even believe someone whose livelihood depends on telling you the truth.I'm telling you, it's a great book. It's going to help a lot of people."

I let out my breath. "Okay, I believe you."

"There's only one thing."

I knew it! I knew it. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. You just didn't send any acknowledgments. We just wanted toknow whether you had any acknowledgments, and just forgot that page, or if youwant to run without any. That's all.

"That's all?"

"That's all."

"Thank God."

Bob laughed. "Are those your acknowledgments?"

"They might as well be." I told Bob I'd e-mail him something right away. When Ihung up, I let out a yelp."

"What's that about?" my wife Nancy called from the next room. I marched intriumphantly.

"Bob says the book is great."

"Oh, good," she beamed.

"Do you think he really means it?

Nancy rolled her eyes and smiled. "I'm sure bob's not going to lie to you aboutthat."

That's just what he said. There's one thing, though."

"What?"

"I've got to go write the acknowledgments."

"Well, that's no problem. You can knock something out in fifteen minutes."

Obviously, my wife should have been a publisher.

So I sat down on a Saturday morning and began my task by asking myself, whom doI want to acknowledge in the front of this Guidebook?" Immediately my mind said,well, God, of course." Yes, I argued with myself, but I thank God foreverything, not just this book. then do it," my mind argued back. So I picked upa pen and wrote, For the entirety of my life, and anything good or decent orcreative or wonderful I may have done with it, I thank my dearest friend andclosest companion, God.

I remember surprising myself with the way I put that. I had never described Godin quite that way, and I became consciously aware that this was exactly the wayI felt. Sometimes it is only as I am writing that I come to know exactly how Ifeel. Have you ever had that experience? There I was, writing this, and Isuddenly realized ... You know, I do have a friendship with God. That's just howit feels. And my mind said, so, write that down. Go ahead and say that." I beganthe second paragraph of the acknowledgments:

I have never known such a wonderful friendship?that's exactly what it feels Ihave going here-and I want never to miss an opportunity to acknowledge it.

Then I wrote something without having any idea why.

Someday I hope to explain to everyone in minute detail just how to develop sucha friendship, and how to use it. For God wants most of all to be used. Andthat's what we want as well. We want a friendship with God. One that'sfunctional and useful.

At precisely that point, my hand froze. A chill went up my back. I felt a majorrush inside my body. I sat quietly for a moment, stunned into a completeawareness of something that a moment before I had no thought of, but which nowseemed perfectly obvious.

That particular experience was not new. I'd had it often while writingConversations with God. A few words, a few sentences, would fly out of my mind.And when I saw them on paper in front of me, I would suddenly be clear that thisis what is so, even though a few minutes beforehand I'd had no idea about this."The experience was usually followed by some kind of physical sensation?a suddentingling, or what I call a happy trembling, or, sometimes, tears of joy. And, onoccasion, all three.

This time it was all three. The triple whammy. So I knew that what I had writtenwas absolute truth.

Then I received an important personal revelation?and this, too, has happenedbefore. The feeling is one of abruptly being aware" of something in itstotality. You know it "all at once."

What I was caused to know (that is the only way I can describe it) is that I wasnot going to be finished with my writing at the end of the trilogy. It wassuddenly clear that there were going to be at least two more books. And then aknowingness about these books, and what they would have to say, swept over me. Iheard God's voice whisper ...

Neale, your relationship with Me is no different from your relationship witheach other. You begin your interactions with each other with a conversation. Ifthat goes well, you form a friendship. And if that goes well, you experience asense of oneness?communion?with the other person. It is exactly the same waywith Me.

First, we have a conversation.

Each of you experiences your conversations with God in your own way?and indifferent ways at different times. It will always be a two-way conversation,such as the one we are having right now. It could be a conversation in yourhead," or on paper, or with My responses taking just a little more time, andreaching you in the form of the next song that you hear, or the next movie yousee, or the next lecture you attend, or the next magazine article you read, orin the chance utterance of a friend whom you just happen" to run into on thestreet.

Once you have become clear that we are always in conversation, then we can moveinto friendship. Ultimately, we will experience communion.

You are, therefore, to write two more books: Friendship with God and Communionwith God. The first will deal with how to take the principles shared in yourconversations with God and turn your new relationship into a fully functioningfriendship. The second will reveal how to elevate that friendship into theexperience of communion, and what will happen when you do. It will provide ablueprint for every seeker of truth, and will contain a breathtaking message forall humankind.

You and I are One right now. You simply don't know it. You do not choose toexperience it?any more than you know or choose to experience your Oneness witheach other.

Your books, Neale, will end that division for all those who read them. They willdestroy the illusion of separation.

This is your assignment. This is your work. You are to destroy the illusion ofseparation.

This was always the mission. It was never anything less. Your conversations withGod were always, and only, the beginning.

I was stunned. Another chill went up my back. I began to feel an inner tremble,the kind that no one can detect, but that you feel in every cell of your body.And that's what's happening, of course. Every cell of your body is vibrating ata faster rate. Oscillating at a higher frequency. Dancing with the energy ofGod.

Continues...
Excerpted from Friendship with Godby Neale Donald Walsch Copyright ©1999 by Neale Donald Walsch. Excerpted by permission.
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