Here we are… on the final page.

When I started this Tumblr back in 2013, I didn’t think there would be ‘room’ on the Internet for another video game blog. Another opinion to be drowned out by the masses; another “content curator” to fall down the cracks.

Surprisingly, it turns out that there is always an interest for video games and related media, even in the saturated ‘market’ of this niche of media commentators. Almost 29,000 denizens displayed an interest in what I had to offer, and I’m certain at least 2/3 of them weren’t bots. Seeing some posts get a modest amount of popularity for striking a nostalgic chord did make me feel that I was doing something right and for awhile I was thinking I would never stop doing this.

But times change. So do attitudes.

At the start of 2020 you may remember that I took a month off to recoup: to distance myself from online life for awhile. To get away from the drama and the comparisons that I have adopted as being a cultural norm. At the time, I had become burned out from digging up daily content and getting it ready for the week. When I came back, I knew that it was time to wind things down: almost everything I shared this year came from the draft folder with almost nothing special between them. After years of putting pressure on myself to take things a couple steps further with my finds (subtle links between games; monthly themes) I feel I had begun to phone in what had gone from a hobby to a data entry job that I didn’t get paid for. 

And I’m going to miss it. But things aren’t how they were when I first started.

Which brings me to the world of social media as a whole, starting with Tumblr. Simply put, this place is the last of a dying breed and I don’t think it has much longer. The microblog with loose restrictions and a traditional blog format with the benefit of easier exposure. It was nice for awhile. But on top of the infamous adult ban and poor enforcement of it, the architecture is falling apart and I wouldn’t be surprised if the remaining staff at headquarters is a skeleton crew of bored techies and some suits pushing it all into Internet Hospice. It’s a shame, because as we know the other social media giants have evolved into nasty, unscrupulous little blights on civilization that are only tolerated by anyone who needs to hustle their craft.

Meanwhile, there’s my changing attitude towards… well, everything. I’ve been depressed long before I came here and that has evolved into bitterness, resentment, and even budding misanthropy. To spare you the rabbit hole of a emotion-driven rant, I’ll just say that I’ve defaulted back to the “why bother” state of mind that allows me to deflect responsibilities that I deem unnecessary, but now with far more nihilism. Or to put it another way, I need to sort a lot of things out. For that I need to cut myself away from what I have been doing and really find myself.

None of this is out of hatred for those who follow this blog or find its themes fascinating. You all did nothing wrong. Nothing will be deleted and will be here for your enjoyment for as long as the lights stay on at Tumblr HQ. I just burnt myself out big time and have collapsed into an emotional black hole.

There’s just…. so much stuff going on in my head these days. Things I can’t unlearn or unsee. For now, that requires more attention.

This has all been a bummer, I know. Some of you even expressed how much it sucks that another good Tumblr is closing down. Some off-site expressed how much niche blogs like this one make their days. I have even considered reviving this concept down the line once I feel comfortable doing so, but likely as a more traditional blog. So stay tuned! Maybe they’ll be an announcement one day! 

But until that day comes, if it ever does, I wish for anyone who can give to support The Internet Archive and RetroMags, whose passionate archivists helped keep this project going and made finding daily updates easier. Additionally, for one last time, I’d like to advertise TangoBunny’s adult gaming zine TangoPunk, which I have humored contributing to. 

Finally, to close all this out…

Thank You.

Thank you for accompanying me on this adventure for the past 7 years. For the responses, exposure, and feelings of purpose. For giving me the opportunity to learn so much about gaming culture.

Thank You. 

Now go have fun, but be safe. Game on, but never forget the sweat and tears behind the media we consume. And never gaze into the abyss unless you absolutely understand the consequences.

In the name of Harman…
~Paulrus-Keaton?