Post #2: What would break Kakashi?

More like a Kakashi character analysis more than anything else lmao

I was thinking the stereotypical idea that to destroy Kakashi’s psyche you would need to destroy his comrades…but here’s the thing.

Kakashi has one hell of a coping technique (or lack thereof) He sticks a piece of tape over his wounds and tries to close himself off as much as possible. The man is already fractured to pieces. He’s just really good at pretending to be whole and normal.

Kakashi has a soft heart (as said by Itachi in his shinden) but while in ANBU he’ll kill anyone. It’s not personal. It’s just his orders. For someone with a soft heart to be in ANBU they must learn to keep their heart and mind separate. It may bother him but he’s an expert at hiding it. He’ll distance himself as far as possible from the situation just to move past it. 

People dying in front of him is sort of his thing. It’s nothing new. You would think that if all of Kakashi’s comrades died and he had nothing left that would be his downfall. 

But Kakashi knows what it is like to be alone. When he’s hurt he wants to be alone.

If in this Zombie AU everyone close to him dies…I think Kakashi would still continue to exist. Survival is so drilled into his mind that I don’t think he would even consider letting go. 

So what would it take to really break Kakashi Hatake?

While I don’t have an exact answer…I think if he were to become a burden somehow to his comrades he would likely leave and try to survive on his own. He would never endanger his comrades if he could help it. If he was the problem he would remove himself some way. And if Kakashi has become enough of a burden to leave his comrades in a highly volatile world…I don’t think he would make it very long on his own.

See Zombie AU Musings Masterpost for my complete collection of musings

Alternative Title: Using Kakashi’s pain and character analysis to explain why I hate the 3rd Hokage. Lol here we go.

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I was thinking about why the 3rd Hokage would suddenly take Kakashi, one of the most skilled and experienced ANBU officers he has, and make him into a lil babysitter of wet nosed genin?

Because Kakashi is so unhappy RIGHT???? A genin team will do him well!!! RIGHT????

But since when does a LEADER sacrifice the well being of the village for an individual’s happiness? Kakashi completes dangerous missions. He has the feared sharingan, 1000 jutsus, godly chakra control, AND a brilliant mind. Why would the Hokage take a man like that and replace him with someone….sub par? Risk putting someone else in his place? Risk failure of a mission? 

Kakashi was a valued member of society with his skill so of course his happiness is valued by the 3rd Hokage RIGHT???

For reference Sakumo served under the 3rd Hokage when he died. He was shunned so much that he left his toddler son to fend for himself in a world that only knows war. But that was the village’s mindset on ~Individual Happiness~. Not to mention look at what happened to Naruto growing up. That’s the son of a legend that SAVED the entire village and he’s pretty much like “lol not my problem”. At least pay someone to you know, check up on the toddler?!?! In the very least? C’mon.

So why is Kakashi different? 

Firstly let me say this. I don’t think the 3rd Hokage’s intentions were ~pure~. He wasn’t thinking about Kakashi’s ~happiness~. His decision to place Kakashi as leader of a genin squad was entirely for the sake of the village. It didn’t matter that Kakashi was suffering. 

But I do believe Kakashi’s suffering was a catalyst to the decision.

Kakashi never had dreams. He didn’t want to move up further on the ladder and become Hokage. He didn’t want a family. He didn’t want…anything. He’s stagnant. Yamato/Tenzou was even surprised when Kakashi said “See you later” because since WHEN does this dude ever think about the future.

Kakashi doesn’t have dreams. He has expectations. 

He expects to do his duty to the village and then die in that very line of duty. Kakashi doesn’t expect to retire. His teammates are still risking their lives. And knowing what we do about Kakashi’s loyalty he would never shirk responsibility for comfort. 

Not to mention he knows what sort of death awaits him. He watched all members of his genin squad die awful traumatic deaths. No doubt while in ANBU he’s seen MORE. No wonder the guy is so screwed up right? His self preservation is likely null.  The 3rd Hokage sees Kakashi as a treasure trove experience and skill but he’s not likely to last long.

Which takes me back to the 3rd Hokage and ultimately what I’m trying to say…

Once Kakashi is dead all that experience is gone gone gone. He’s not likely to raise a kid and pass on his knowledge (hell he’s not even likely to keep friends). The 3rd Hokage is essentially counting down to when Kakashi finally burns out.

So before Kakashi dies he assigns him to become a sensei. The 3rd KNOWS Kakashi will do his best to keep these children alive. He’ll keep Sasuke in line to benefit Konoha. He’ll shape Naruto up and maybe make him like Minato. Ultimately this is all for the benefit of the village. 

Kakashi’s happiness never was a factor. The fact that this was the best damn thing to ever happen to him was probably a surprise. You don’t expect seeing dead friends and failed promises in your new teammates to bring happiness right? You can’t right those wrongs. 

So yeah f u 3rd Hokage

Naruto Casino AU idea.

Shipping is actually optional. But I am tagging it as such as it can go into either BROTP or OTP territory lmao. I personally am not writing this. But just shoving the idea out.

Featuring Itachi, Kakashi, Shisui, and Kisame 

Itachi and Kakashi who work undercover as casino surveillance. They’re both hella good at weeding out cheaters and suspicious individuals. Both walk the casino floor “helping” customers that cause problems to the door. 

Kisame and Shisui as a duo who are hella good at counting cards and getting away with it. They’re responsible for taking millions. Hot damn imagine the BROTP potential between these two. Highly intelligent and ambitious these two work the casino floor to win. This isn’t child’s play. They are high stakes professionals.

Character Keypoints

Itachi…something is missing. He’s not exactly unhappy but life is lacking its luster. He doesn’t connect well with people. He loves the Casino and all its workers like family. But they don’t understand or engage him. He’s around people constantly but to him he might as well be alone.

Kisame likes to live by intimidation but he’s actually hella gentle with those he cares about. He comes off as Shisui’s lackey but Kisame is his own man and an equal. He’s perceptive of his surroundings. He poses as Shisui’s bodyguard to evaluate the casino floor and its employees. It gives him an excuse to look around at every piece of casino surveillance (be it person or camera) and relays that info to Shisui without suspicion. He’s actually highly philosophical. He loves the thrill of danger…….But the money just isn’t…completing him. He wants to live for something with meaning. 

Shisui is the hella charming mastermind. He may be humble but he really enjoys fucking with people. He lives for the challenge that is manipulating the people around him. Part of the job is playing people like a fiddle to get what he wants. He likes to see just how far he can go and what he can get away with. He’s not exactly reckless but he wants to discover his limits. Kisame is perceptive about Shisui (which is partly why Shisui and him make such good buddies) but he wants to meet someone who keeps him on his toes.  There’s just…not enough of the right challenge in his life right now.

Kakashi is very bored with his job…yet still shows up everyday for the past 15 years. lmao. But duty to Minato keeps him loyal. He’s good at chatting up the guests and provoking them to gamble more. But they are all so…empty. The guests are rarely intriguing or even sober. He works at the heart of the entertainment industry but he is everything but entertained. Life is slow. The people are slower. 

With Guest Appearances of…

Minato as the Boss Man. He’s a great man to work for and genuinely cares for anyone on his payroll.  Business IS part of his family however. So if you fuck with either he will come after you without mercy. He has the police and politicians in his pocket. If he wants to find someone by god he will.

Kushina as Minato’s bodyguard. She’s good with guns and fists. Probably has innumerable restraining orders against her because someone fucked with the Fam and now she’s out for blood. Minato may be scary with power but Kushina is scary with her wrath. Don’t mess with her or her charge. It’s a good thing Minato bribes the police to turn a blind eye. (Not yet married/official relationship) Naruto either hasn’t happened yet or is a secret/accident born out of wedlock. 

Rin and Obito work the Casino bar as both bartenders and undercover surveillance ops. Obito can be a bit reckless dealing with problems. Rin is always googling shit like “What to do if an idiot punctures a lung with a fork” because DAMMIT OBITO WHAT DID YOU DO !!!

Plot Summary

Kisame and Shisui focus in on Minato’s casino as their next target. Technically card-counting can’t be proven and isn’t exactly illegal. But with powerful men such as Minato you don’t just waltz into someone else’s territory and swindle away hundreds of thousands of dollars when they’re watching. So they have a plan.

The first step is to get acquainted with their surroundings. They learn employee rotation shifts. They need to know who’s watching. Then they can plan when they win big and when they need to lose a little to remain believable.

The second step is to distract. It doesn’t look like Shisui is winning all that much if no one sees it. 

The third step is to see how long their luck lasts. How well can Kisame distract. How well can Shisui play. How long can they stay believable. 

From day one Itachi is intrigued. Kisame is meant to distract and befriend so he talks about genuine interests with Itachi. But in the end Kisame gets distracted by Itachi. It’s difficult for him to separate work from play. It’s not very hard to make Itachi want to see Kisame outside of work. And can you imagine Kisame taking Itachi to the aquarium. Or Itachi taking Kisame to a war museum. They both share a mutual eagerness for learning and discussion and it works so well between them.

Meanwhile Kakashi fucking knows Shisui is a manipulative little bastard. He just watched Shisui flirt with Rin talking about Obito’s work-shift habits.. Then turn around ten minutes later and do the exact same thing to Obito about Rin. Kakashi fucking knows Shisui is scoping out the place. So when he sits down next to Shisui at the table and looks Shisui straight in the eye..all while telling Shisui that he knows Shisui is up to something…Shisui plays none the wiser. Kakashi is adamant about figuring Shisui out. And Shisui sees the challenge in staying one step ahead. 

And when the truth is uncovered and the alarms raised, Shisui and Kisame already have their cash laughing all the way to the bank.

But wait, there’s more.

Minato feels like the duo has not only fucked over his casino taking millions, but also messed with his family. Itachi is distracted on the job. Kakashi is absolutely fuming under his illusion of restraint. 

Not to mention Rin feels like her kindness was taken advantage of and Obito wants to hunt those fuckers down and beat their faces in.

Minato thinks Shisui is the man behind it all (while Kisame plays a part in the plot he never actually sat at the blackjack table) So Shisui and Kisame split up for the time being to lay low. Minato is a scary man and neither really want to hurt him (or be hurt by him lmao)

Kisame just wants to drop the routine all together. He found what he was looking for at Minato’s casino. But it’s gone now. He has too much pride to go back. And now that he has time on his hands, his thoughts constantly go back to past conversations and promises with Itachi. 

Shisui’s idea of laying low is tracking Minato’s best man (Kakashi) and messing even more with him. He leaves clues in his apartment. He even goes as far as to wear a costume and go back to the casino to snap a picture of Kakashi to pin to Kakashi’s front door. He borrows peoples’ phones to call him up in the middle of the night. 

Minato is conflicted over the whole ordeal. On one hand, yeah Kisame/Shisui really did fuck him and his family over. On the other hand Itachi has never shown so much interest in people. And it has been so very long since Kakashi has been interested in life in general. Like goddamn, Minato wants to hunt these fuckers down but his family (for the most part) wants to see them (relatively) unharmed.