John Smith
Height: 5'11'' Weight: 177 lbs
The man who would do anything from babysitting to agitating a revolution to get money. | Arena: Skyscraper. The man who doesn't so much give an example of 'normal' but practically defines it, John Smith has a boring name, pretty normal attire, and he looks like Harrison Ford. I think Namco were going for the 'All American hero' vibe here, but hilariously failed, as Johnny Boy here is wearing this on his shirt. Esoteric Japanese references aside, John Smith is a pretty standard character, willing to do anything- even babysitting- for money. FUN BONUS FACT: His running attack looks like a Dragon Punch. Shoryuken! |
Betty Doe
Height: 5'02'' Weight: 55 lbs
A successful international business-woman who desperately needs capital to fund her several businesses. | Her diverse background includes being a former high paid hitwoman. Arena: Seaside Aquarium Betty Doe is the female equivalent of John Smith, i.e. just a bog-standard, normal character. Unlike John, she doesn't even have anything like a cool t-shirt to differentiate her from the other cast members, and is almost certainly the most boring character in the game. Yaaaaaawn. Can I stop talking about her yet? FUN BONUS FACT: Seriously, she is so boring but she has one of the coolest stages, what gives? |
Bernard White
Height: 7'01'' Weight: 298 lbs
A bio-tech engineer with super human strength. | An experiment resulted in him losing his hand. He now has an artificial hand made of steel. Arena: Rocky Mountain Train One of the only characters where you can definitely see a difference in power, probably because of that steel hand, Bernard is a very imposing adversary. His physical attacks have better range than the other characters, and they hit for slightly more damage... But to be honest, is that really going to help you here when the enemy is packing weapons like rocket launchers and hot soup?! Besides, it means he's a much larger target, so he can be hit a lot easier. FUN BONUS FACT: He has some of the funniest animations in the game, including his run. Especially his run.. |
Eve
Height: 5'05'' Weight: 111 lbs
A "has been" film starlet. | Now a thief to support her lavish lifestyle. She has the skill to break into Nox Fortress with the aid of her well-trained lizard. Arena: The Greatest Circus Uh, I think they were trying to say 'Fort Knox' with that description, but the rest is pretty accurate. It's at this point that the characters start to get a little more, er, esoteric, as Eve certainly looks... Different. Her lizard does indeed join in the fight, but doesn't really do much- it'll try to stay on Eve's shoulder as much as it can, but the two of them can be separated, and the lizard will, pretty much, do its own thing. FUN BONUS FACT: If they're separated, you can attack her pet lizard! He can't be killed, though. |
Professor Ching
Height with Wheelchair: 7'01'' Weight (No Wheelchair): 100 lbs Weight with Wheelchair: 550 lbs
The mysterious oriental scientist who rides on a killer wheel-chair he designed. | Though partially handicapped, he is a famous master of Chinese martial arts. Arena: Weapons Factory Wait... What?! A man in a wheelchair, who can also do Chinese martial arts?! The specifics of his handicap are never thoroughly discussed, as it seems he can use both his hands (he sometimes uses them to utilise weapons) and his legs (his standard melee attack is kicking) so... Well, the next challengers on this list are even stranger, so we'd better not worry about little details. His 'killer wheel-chair' has a small crane on the back, and he uses this for anything- from holding on to weapons to grabbing ropes, and as pointed out by vigilant reader Jake, that wheelchair can also block bullets from behind! FUN BONUS FACT: When he dies, his wheelchair explodes and takes him with it! |
Dweeb
Height: 2'09'' Weight: 62 lbs
The only known professional killer who works for bananas. | He is the kidnapped son of the famous TV star, world's most intelligent chimpanzee "Mr. Happy". Arena: Airplane It's an ape wearing a top-hat. FUN BONUS FACT: It's also wearing a bow-tie. |
Danny & Demi
Danny's Height: 4'03'' Demi's Height: 4'04'' Danny's Weight: 77 lbs Demi's Weight: 78 lbs
The ex-Siamese twins, seperated by a train crush. | Besides being extremely intelligent, they both possess a sinister and criminal mind. Arena: Fishing Boat Easily the stand-out characters in this game, Danny and Demi are really quite worrying. In case you're thinking there's going to be some Ice Climber-esque shenanigans going on here, you'll be disappointed, as the two can't be separated (aside from, apparently, a train crush- their spelling not mine) and do everything together- when one's got the gun, the other's got their finger on the trigger, they both carry the rocket launcher, they even die together with one jumping on top of the other as their faces explode with blood. Ew! FUN BONUS FACT: When you pick them as your character, Demi brings out what appears to be a huge whip. Oo-err! |